An addendum to today's post...

See? I really WAS barking at cows on the drive home from Kincardine!

The Hunter and the Hunted

I am a notorious hunter. I think we've established that. My prey drive is pretty much off the charts. If given the freedom, I would chase everything. Not just squirrels, bunnies, birds, deer and other assorted live prey - but also skateboarders, cyclists, rollerbladers and vehicles.

These past few morning walks have been particularly busy for me. The squirrels have been really active - in the parks, running up trees, running along telephone lines (which requires me to chase them from the ground while they run away from me in the air).

And the bunnies, they've been everywhere. I surprise them a lot - I come around a corner, and, wham, there's a bunny that needs to be chased. My leash stops me from catching them - but that doesn't mean the chase isn't still required.

Oddly enough, though, these past few mornings, my human and I have been the prey. There is a little parkette we walk through every morning (it's where Mr. Bunny used to live. I wrote about him last year). Well, the other morning we were walking down the path, and we were totally dive bombed by a bird! The human is taller than me so she got the worst of it. This male redwinged blackbird was making it very clear that we were not welcome. He was making tons of noise and dive bombing Lesli's head. It was nuts - what a jerk! Every single time we went through there, until this morning, this dude would beat the crap out of us. He's gone now. Suppose his babies or whatever he was protecting have left the nest. It was ridiculous. I am SO not used to being anyone's prey. Especially some snotty little bird I could eat in one bite.

We had a good weekend last weeked. Went to Kincardine. I slept a lot on the drive, both up and back (though I woke up in time to bark at cows, horses, goats and sheep through the window, and took great pride in the looks of concern I elicited). I got to swim in Lake Huron, and retrieved a killer stick of driftwood from the lake. I brought it home with me. It was a little hard to get up the beach stairs with it but I made it.

Anyhoo, that's the update for today. I'll post a picture of my amazing stick later tonight. It really is awesome.

Hot dog

I'm in Kincardine, enduring the first heatwave of the Summer of 2008, and it's brutal. I don't know how other dogs feel on days like this. Maybe if you haven't got a really thick coat it's not so bad. But when your coat is black and super thick, it's rough. Even inside in the air conditioning, I'm really lethargic. I just feel like laying around. Our walk this morning was half the distance and took as long as our usual walk. I just lumbered along. Lesli took me for an early morning swim today so that I could cool off. That helped a bit. And there are some breezes here in Kincardine. But there really is no getting away from it.

I'm a hog dog.

Not much else is new.

I think I've adjusted to our pack's new routine.

We get up early, go for a walk. I have breakfast. Human has breakfast. We have a short snuggle while she reads and has her coffee. Then, she goes upstairs and does a bunch of things. Comes back down, gives me a peanut butter kong and my treaty ball. Next is my nap. Then, Louisa comes and we go for a really fun walk together. Next, another nap. The human comes home. I eat again. We rest while my dinner settles. We go to Bronte. Sometimes we go for a drive around after Bronte. And then we go to bed.

I think I can live with this.

George - an update

I brought George to bed with me last night.

Now he's missing part of his face and more of his bum.

I love him.



Even though I am systematically destroying him.

Lesli put some of his stuffing back into him.

It's still there.

For now...

Bums

Today's post is all about bums. Because there is a lot going on with me when it comes to bums right now.

Let's begin with the gift Louisa gave me. His name is George. He is a bunny. She gave him to me on Friday - such a totally awesome surprise. I loved George from the moment I sniffed him. I showed him my love by chewing his bum out within the first hour of our friendship. (he is now missing part of his cheek as well).

I am also reluctant to mention that, just as I suspected and mused about in one of my recent posts, after taking me to the vet and letting them torture my bum and my left anal gland, the evil human did take me back the next day and allow them to torture me again, this time with my right anal gland. My reluctance comes in admitting that, since the anal gland hell, my bum actually does feel better.

Goose bums. I love them because they produce yummy goose poo. There is a whole bunch of it across the street right now because flocks of geese have returned to graze on the park grass. It's a buffet. No matter how hard the human tries, I manage to eat my fair share of goose poo. I think I ate too much of it yesterday, which leads to my last note about bums.

Oh, my, is my bum giving me trouble right now. I woke the human up at five this morning and made it as clear as I possibly could that I had to go out ASAP. She rushed into her clothes, threw some shoes on and out we went. I barely made it around the corner before I really had to go. I got through the day, and my walk with Louisa. Then the human came home, fed me, and out I went into the back yard. I was sick again. We went to the park, and I had to poo about five times. She's making me some rice now.

Oh, my bum. Sure hope it feels better tomorrow.

Strange Week

I don't know what's going on. Monday, the human got up early, walked me and then got all dressed up and left me for the entire day. Louisa came by in the morning, which was great. She took me for a walk, and that was lots of fun. She dropped me off at home, I napped and then waited for Lesli to come home. She finally made it at dinner time - omg, was I happy to see her! We had dinner, went for a nice walk, and then relaxed together for the evening.

She did it again Tuesday. She took off on me. Got all dressed up, left me for the day. Louisa came by again and walked me around the neighbourhood. I was restless Tuesday night, and a bit grumpy. Who could blame me. I'm a dog. I like routine. I like certainty. And my life was two days into being tossed in the air. I didn't know what was going on. So, the human took me for a swim in Lake Ontario Tuesday night and I slept after that.

Wednesday - she did it yet again. Same routine. So, I'm starting to think, this is our new routine and we've had a change in our pack. She keeps saying something about "working" and "earning money for your food". Huh? Whatever. I guess I'll just go along with it. I get to see Louisa and Quinn more, which is good. And I can nap in the afternoon now without being assaulted by the human constantly, telling me how cute I am and kissing me.

We had a great hike at Bronte when she got home last night. I swam in the creek, sniffed a lot of things, ate too much grass.

The weekend is here, so my human and I can spend some quality time together, which will be great.

Sucking up

You, not unrealistically, likely read the title of today's blog and thought, oh man, what did that crazy dog do now that she's sucking up to her human?

W-R-O-N-G.

So wrong.

It's very much the other way around.

And after what this human has put me through over the past three days, she had better be sucking up. Cause I'm one pissed off dog.

It started with her friend Rosalind showing up Wednesday.

I thought my human was a few curds short of a poutine.

Ros makes her seem normal. (almost)

After a day filled with ridiculous unpredictability, they topped it off by tossing hot pink nail polish into the air instead of passing it to one another. It created a Pollack-esque design on the carpet, which my human will be working to remove for days.

I don't really care about the carpet. But I do care that I was standing there when this happened, and I'm not thrilled with the hot pink designs on my black fur.

I like Ros. But the two of them together are too much for any dog to bear.

Fast forward to today. Up early. Nice walk. Rushes me to Bronte. Then, takes off for a few hours. Comes home. I give her my platinum greeting. What do I get in return?

Stuffed into the car and hauled off to the damned vet, where they pulled, poked, prodded and tortured me.

They stuck needles into me.

And they stuck their fingers up my butt.

My anal glands are blocked, so they thought they'd do me a little favour and clear them.

I DON'T THINK SO!

I screamed, cried, put on the best show I could. You could hear it in the reception area. No way I planned to suffer the pain and indignity quietly. FORGET IT.

They brought me out to my human after torturing me. Usually I'm glad to see her - I'm always, like, oh my GOD, do you have ANY idea what THEY did to me back there????

But now I know better.

She is complicit.

I refused to look at her.

I tried desperately to get to the door, and steadfastly ignored all of her "Boo boo! I love you!" crap.

We got into the car. She asked for a kiss. I obliged - but just a quick one.

So guess what she did? She took me home, and took me right over to the lake for a swim! Then, I got extra meat in my dinner. Now I'm resting, she's hugging me constantly and telling me she loves me.

That's right, sister. Keep it up.

(I'm slightly distressed by something I heard her tell grandma on the phone...they could only get my left anal gland done...right one too sensitive and they thought I'd had enough for one day...I'm back tomorrow for the right side to be done? No. Must have heard that wrong)