Seriously, lady, I HAVE a SCHEDULE to keep.

Here's how it's supposed to go:

1. We wake up
2. I lick the human's face
3. We go downstairs
4. I bark at the back patio door to alert the neighbours that we have arisen
5. We go for a walk, I go to the bathroom and check on the 'hood
6. We go home, I eat breakfast, the human makes her breakfast
7. Human eats breakfast.
8. I lick her plate.
9. I clean the milk steaming container
10. I clean her mocha mug
11. I get a treaty ball and she goes upstairs for awhile
12. I get another treaty ball and a peanut butter kong and the human departs
13. Wayne comes, I party with my friends
14. I sleep
15. The human returns, we walk, we eat
16. We go to bed

Here is how it went yesterday:

1. We wake up
2. I lick the human's face
3. We go downstairs
4. I bark at the back patio door to alert the neighbours that we have arisen
5. We go for a walk, I go to the bathroom and check on the 'hood
6. We go home, I eat breakfast, the human makes her breakfast
7. Human eats breakfast.
8. I lick her plate.
9. I clean the milk steaming container
10. I clean her mocha mug
11. Human shows no sign of going upstairs; instead, gets laptop and sits at kitchen table. I whine and pace.
12. Strange men come to door. Strange men remove front door and spend an hour and a half doing things to my den while I am tied to a bannister. I express my displeasure by barking at everything that goes by our den in the meantime.
13. Men leave. Human stays.
14. Wayne comes. Yipppeee! Something NORMAL!
15. I come home, human is gone

Seriously. This is not acceptable. I need my routine!

Someone send a memo to the human and advise her.