Friday, March 28, 2008

Storm and Quinn's Most Excellent Adventure

OMG, am I ever tired! I think today was perhaps the best time I've ever had at Bronte.

It was just me, Cosmo and Quinn walking today. We went through the woods, past the field, and down to the creek that shows up at the off leash area every spring, and dries up eventually. Love that creek - it's perfect for a quick bath, and fun to run through.

I went into the creek and was having myself a little drink and dunk. Quinn was staring at me. The humans commented on that - suggested he was staring me down because he wanted to play. It turns out, however, that Quinn wasn't actually looking at me. He was looking just behind where three deer were standing. Right there, beside the creek, in our off leash area.

Quinn moved toward me, I moved in the creek - and that scared the deer. They moved, I saw them - and we were off.

The deer were fast. So were we. We were out of the humans' sight in seconds, across the fields, past the park office, chasing our huge prey. It was like a dream!

We were no match for the humans (or for the deer, for that matter...they got away eventually). Lesli tried to chase us, but gave up. She walked along the road calling us, thinking there was no way in hell we would come back just because she was calling (correct assumption), but that she could at least give us some sense of where our pack was when we were ready to return.

Diane and Cosmo caught up to her. They asked a guy driving a park truck if he'd seen us, but he hadn't. They asked a couple walking their dogs, but they hadn't seen us either. Lesli handed my leash to Diane and was going to drive around the park in her car while Diane continued the foot search when I came running back to them from the farm area.

I came close to them - was considering going to her and accepting my reward for coming back. But I caught a scent...sniffed the air...and thought, to hell with that - I still have prey to chase. I took off again before finally coming back to the pack and letting them put a leash on me.

My partner in crime stayed away from the pack a bit longer, finally returning a few minutes after I did.

We were like Thelma and Louise, off on a crazy adventure together.

I really need a nap now.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Canine...or Bovine?

One of the things I love most about spring is the fresh, tall grass. It's sweet, it's delicious, and after a long, grassless winter, there are few things more satisfying than munching on those first few blades of spring grass.

The human buys herself fresh cut tulips this time of year as a reminder that winter is going to end and spring is coming.

My reminder?

A nice container of pet grass from Holland Park.

Ohhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhh.

I've been noshing on my pet grass for two days.

Humans make jokes about my grass eating. The usual - "are you a cow?", or the slightly more innovative but equally irritating "you're a canine, not a bovine!".

May I remind you that canines are, in fact, omnivores. We are scavengers. We evolved and survived mainly by grabbing whatever we could to eat. When we couldn't catch live prey, we'd happily eat carrion, leaves, plants, whatever. We're not fussy. Surely you've realized that. The fact that you meet all of our nutritional requirements with dog food nowadays doesn't mean our hard-wired need to eat whatever, whenever we get the opportunity has disappeared.

Trust me, we don't work that way. We're not sitting there thinking, you know, I do believe I've met my nutritional requirements for the day, so I'll stop eating now.


So when that spring grass shows up, I'm all over it.

In the meantime, while I wait for the snow to melt, occasional gifts of pet grass are much appreciated.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I am clearly not an independent woman

Our friend Mike is staying with us right now. He went out about thirty minutes ago, and this is where I have been laying since he left. By the front door, waiting for him to come back.

I need to know where he is at all times. If he goes upstairs, I go upstairs. If he goes into the bathroom and closes the door, I wait on the other side of that door. When he goes out, I wait for him to return. When he sits on the loveseat, I sit on the loveseat. When he's on the couch, I try to sit on the couch (sometimes my human is in the way. Grrrrr). I sleep with him at night.

If I could attach myself to him, I'd do it.

Yes, he bothers me a lot. He teases me. He pretends to leave the house just to upset me. He touches me ALL the time - and I'm really not big on the touching thing. Even though he does his best to irritate me, I adore him.

My mom says I need to develop more independence when it comes to men, that I shouldn't follow him around and pine for him when he's gone. It's just not gonna happen.

In fact, I heard him talking about leaving to work in Winnipeg. They don't think I understand most of what they say...but, oh, they will regret that mistake. I'm going to start working on a secret room in the that no one can escape...and if he thinks he's leaving me...he's got another thing coming.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Top Ten Posts of 2007

Some of you have written to tell me which 2007 posts were your favourites, so I thought I'd do a top ten listing for all for you. Problem is, there are eleven favourites. So you get a Top Eleven List.

Drum roll please....

The Top Eleven Postings of 2007

  1. To Pee or Not to Pee (May)
  2. Signs of Intelligence? (May)
  3. The Case of the Missing Muffin (June)
  4. Dog Environmentalist (June)
  5. A Tail of Forbidden Love (July)
  6. A Dog's Love (July)
  7. Top Ten Signs I Had a Great Weekend (August)
  8. My Name is Storm, and I'm a Crotch-a-holic (November)
  9. Request for Information (November)
  10. How to Torture Your Human (December)
  11. Good News, and Very Bad News (December)
Alright, I'm outta here. It's sunny, there's plenty of mushy spring snow on the ground and I've got a date at the OLDP.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Does this look like the face of a bunny killer?


You really think this adorable, innocent looking dog wouldn't kill a bunny, eh?

You are SO wrong.

I did it.

I'm as guilty as they come.

Listen, the bunny was clearly suicidal.

It ran out across a snowy field while a pack of dogs was walking along the path nearby.

It caught my eye, and I gave chase.

It took me about five minutes, but by the time the pack of humans and dogs rounded the corner in the wooded area we walk in, I was ready to emerge from below a beautiful pine tree laden with white, fluffy snow, carrying the dead bunny in my mouth.

I was bursting with pride.

I am Storm, the Bunny Killer.


Call it what you like.

I'm guilty.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Someone call the UN

I don't know what kind of restrictions or rules they have under Geneva Conventions for acceptable treatment of non-combatant dogs in captivity.

I'm pretty sure that placing peanut butter on a dog's nose is not considered "humanitarian" under the terms of the convention treaties.

This could be classified an atrocity.

There will be reprisals.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Another Snowstorm!

While the meteorologists apologize to the humans on every newscast, and humans all over Eastern Ontario (including mine) cry, dogs celebrate. We're in the middle of another big snowstorm! Our walk this morning was fantastic. So much snow to play and roll in! We're heading to Bronte shortly, and that will be even better because I will be off leash and able to run and play at will. All the dogs will be happy and playful, so it should be a rockin' good time.

Soon enough, the snow will be gone, the weather will warm up, and it will be sweltering. I figure I might as well enjoy this weather.

Last night was a lazy night for me. I was so tired, I actually snuggled with Mike again. It's rather embarrassing. Good thing the batteries in Lesli's camera were dead, or there would be photographic evidence.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

March Blahs

So, haven't posted in a few days. Not much out of the ordinary going on to tell you about. The weather has been crummy. Lesli and I are doing shorter morning walks because the sidewalks are really icy and hard to walk on. We are currently getting another snowstorm. The human isn't happy about it. Me, I'm excited - it means I'm going to have a totally awesome time at Bronte today!

Mike is staying with us, and I am perfecting my stalking capabilities while he's here. I was devastated the other morning when we came home from our morning walk, and he was gone. Gone, I tell you! I looked everywhere for him - I searched in the yard, in every room in the house, I even looked in the big blanket on the chair. But he wasn't in it. I went upstairs, saw that the door to the guest room was closed, and figured, well, I SMELL him in there, so that must be where he is. I laid down outside the door and waited. And cried.

Lesli came upstairs when she heard me cry, saw me waiting plaintively by the door and said we needed to have a talk about throwing myself at men etc. Whatever. I'm not going to change. Even though he irritates me - a lot - I like him. He feeds me things. What's not to like?!

I ate his razor last night. Ohhhh yeah. I sure did. Lesli, who knows me well enough to realize that a missing Storm means trouble, asked where I was. Mike told her I was upstairs eating toilet paper. She called me, and I came right down.

I did my "ohmygodIamsocuteandinnocentdon'thurtme" dance. It worked.

Lesli went upstairs later to get ready for bed, and found the evidence. I left the razor on the bathroom floor. She came flying down the stairs with it in her hand, and the two of them hurried to determine how many blades were in the razor and ensure they were all accounted for.

Apparently, eating razor blades isn't good for you?

I didn't eat any. I just chewed them up.

I really don't get what the issue is.