Sunday, December 30, 2012

This coat was made for winter

The snow doesn't even melt, thanks to my handy dandy - but super irritating in the summer - undercoat.

Monday, December 24, 2012


uh, merry christmas, everyone...

Friday, December 7, 2012

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Dust up

The human and I went to Bronte for a walk today, and met up with Auntie Diane and Levi.

Levi and I get along well. He's still finding his way, sometimes he growls at me - I just let it go. He doesn't really mean anything by it.

This morning was another story.

Diane held my leash while the human walked away from me toward a garbage can. I watched intently. She turned to come back to me - thank god!!!!!! - and I ran toward her.

Levi decided to join me.

When we reached my human, we both happily greeted her (after all, she had been gone for about 5 seconds!).

Then he growled at me.

When it comes to MY human, no way I will let that go.

I gave it back to him. It escalated. Auntie Diane was so calm - she said to my human, just let her do it - he needs it.

They let us work it out.

There was plenty of growling and teeth baring, and I puffed up as big as I could.

And then, he backed down. He got lower than me. And he licked at my mouth.

He gave in.

Message received.

So we continued on our merry way!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Time to rest

Went for a hike yesterday and when we came up on this huge pile of leaves at the end of our walk. Seemed to be a perfect resting spot so I plopped down and worked the air with my Super Nose while resting my old hips.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Puppy stick run

I was a puppy at Burns Lake on Saturday! I ran, grabbed sticks and just frolicked with joy!!!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Morning Coffee

I love starting my mornings this way. A good walk, sniff and a bark, coffee and then - a nap.

Seriously, by this point, I've been up for an hour.

Rest is required!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Things that happen when you get old

I suffer fools even less.

Taking breaks on walks is super fun; it's good to plop down whenever the urge strikes and sniff the air for awhile.

Speaking of sniffing, I love to smell everything now.

My joints and my back hurt.

Routine? It was always important to me. But's everything.

Family get togethers are fun for about ten minutes. Then it's way too much and I prefer to curl up on a dog bed away from the madness and rest.

I fart more.

Bunnies have a much higher survival rate around me, since they are too small for my once laser vision to make out from much of a distance.

Conversely, I cannot see large moving items as well so baby strollers, wheel barrows and occasionally humans must sometimes endure a fierce German shepherd fear bark.

When I forget my age and take off chasing something, I pay for it later.

My friends have started leaving me. Riley, Bristol, Cosie - I hope you're having fun wherever you are, and will see you when my time is here.

Food remains a complete and utter joy, even when you're old.

I go to the vet more.

The human gazes at me more, and pets me more. Ugh.

Which means I get treats at the vet more.

I still look scary when sitting up in the car with my human, and can still scare off men with road rage who get out of their cars and walk up to my human's window (that's right, did it, and it was SO much fun!!!!)

Really, life is about food, stability, quiet exercise, and being with my human and the pack members I love in this world.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Fall grass

Just as delicious as spring grass.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Monday, September 10, 2012

NFL Opening Day

I wasn't interested in watching the game, so I hung out on the balcony instead and stared at my boyfriend.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Last night was better

Totally better last night. No laboured breathing or panting, and I rememberd our breakfast routine this morning and absolutely did NOT abandon my breakfast midway through.

My back end is sore and I have an overwhelming urge to lick my butt, but otherwise, all is normal.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Crappy night, confusing morning

I had some trouble breathing last night - and I was panting SO hard. I woke the human up at 1:30 am and asked her to get me back up onto the bed. Then I spent the next while panting hard and breathing hard, wheezing a bit, too. It was confusing to me. The human stayed close and eventually, everything calmed down.

We woke up at 5am and went for our usual walk. Got home and while the human got my breakfast ready, I sat on her feet and leaned against her legs. She took my bowl over to the stand, and I wasn't sure what to do - so I stood in the middle of the kitchen.

She helpfully reminded me that it was breakfast time.

I sauntered over to the food dishes.

She reminded me that I should sit.

I sat.

She said 'alright!' which is my usual signal to dive into my delicious food.

I sat.


She pointed out my food, and I stood up and ate.

The human wandered over to do something while I ate.

I followed her.

She led me back to my food.

I finished it.

Then I followed her upstairs while she got ready for work.

I never do that. Too much effort to get up those stairs.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

We are NOT watching this!

The human made me watch the most riculous show last night. It's called Big Brother. WHO watches this crap?!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Monday, August 20, 2012

Friday, August 17, 2012

Seriously, lady, I HAVE a SCHEDULE to keep.

Here's how it's supposed to go:

  1. We wake up
  2. I lick the human's face
  3. We go downstairs
  4. I bark at the back patio door to alert the neighbours that we have arisen
  5. We go for a walk, I go to the bathroom and check on the 'hood
  6. We go home, I eat breakfast, the human makes her breakfast
  7. Human eats breakfast.
  8. I lick her plate.
  9. I clean the milk steaming container
  10. I clean her mocha mug
  11. I get a treaty ball and she goes upstairs for awhile
  12. I get another treaty ball and a peanut butter kong and the human departs
  13. Wayne comes, I party with my friends
  14. I sleep
  15. The human returns, we walk, we eat
  16. We go to bed
Here is how it went yesterday:

  1. We wake up
  2. I lick the human's face
  3. We go downstairs
  4. I bark at the back patio door to alert the neighbours that we have arisen
  5. We go for a walk, I go to the bathroom and check on the 'hood
  6. We go home, I eat breakfast, the human makes her breakfast
  7. Human eats breakfast.
  8. I lick her plate.
  9. I clean the milk steaming container
  10. I clean her mocha mug
  11. Human shows no sign of going upstairs; instead, gets laptop and sits at kitchen table. I whine and pace.
  12. Strange men come to door. Strange men remove front door and spend an hour and a half doing things to my den while I am tied to a bannister. I express my displeasure by barking at everything that goes by our den in the meantime.
  13. Men leave. Human stays.
  14. Wayne comes. Yipppeee! Something NORMAL!
  15. I come home, human is gone
Seriously. This is not acceptable. I need my routine!

Someone send a memo to the human and advise her.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Holy crap, I'm 12

How did THAT happen?!

I'm a senior citizen.

Does that mean I get discounts?

I know it means that, last night, my human made her annual pilgramage to the butcher shop (not an easy thing for a devout vegetarian) to buy my birthday dead stuff.

This year, I got sirloin tip.

For breakfast this morning, she took a paper package out of the fridge and held it to my nose.

All it took was one brief sniff, and my tail was off to the races.

Raw sirloin in my breakfast dish.

Life is SO good!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

I may look silly, but I'm STILL a potentially lethal beauty!

My paw is killing me and I can't stop licking it. Saw Dr. Honda last night. She thinks I may have caught my claw on something - it is really loose. But she can't see for sure because my paw is so swollen, she can't see my nail bed.

The human put a sock on my paw yesterday, trying, I suppose, to give me a break from the cone.

I, however, deftly removed the sock and spent the day licking my paw.

Today, she put the sock on again. I know that, if I take the sock off again today, she'll leave me with the dreaded cone tomorrow.

But I just might not be able to help myself.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Waiting for Godot...or Riley

The human got home from yoga yesterday and took me out for a walk, thinking, I expect, that I really had to pee.

I did.

But more than that, I realy wanted to see my boyfriend.

I refused to leave the porch.

Instead, I sat and stared directly at his door. Figured if I stared long enough, it would open and he would come out.

Didn't work.


Friday, July 27, 2012


No wonder Riley told me I must refer to him as Don Riley now.


Bunnykins never had a chance.

I am scared.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Took a little trip last night

After dinner, I was panting really hard. It wasn't THAT hot in the den. The human became concerned, came over to me, and told me to roll over. She started rubbing my belly (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) and I felt her energy change. She was worried. My belly was puffy and bloated. She kept feeling it, then poking it to see if it hurt (it didn't), made a phone call and next thing I know I'm being stuffed into the car and hauled off to the emergency vet.

As soon as we got there, they rushed me into the back room and started poking around in my tummy. Then they slapped me onto my side onto some machine and took pictures.

It all seemed pretty 'urgent'.

But I was ok. It was just gas. Not bloat - which the human explained could  have killed me in less than an hour (after I shot her a withering look for putting me through all that bs over some gas).

Better safe than sorry, right?

The good thing about this vet?

They have office cats. Two of them!

Very fun to stalk, bark at and imagine eating.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

My mafia boyfriend

This was taped to my door last night.

An ear.

Accompanied by a note.

Riley Corleone...Killer of Bunnies.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Boys are silly

Riley popped by for a visit Saturday night.

I guess you could call it a date.

He came in, ran around my den excitedly, proceeded to my toy basket while I watched and then surfaced with my kong.

Which is about half the size of his body.

I was impressed with his manly ability, what with being able to carry it around with his wee little teeth and all.

While he searched desperately for somewhere to hide with it, I followed closely behind.

He hid behind his human once. I still found him.

In the end, I got my kong back and sent him off with a bunny.

I am led to believe the bunny endured a viscious de-stuffing within moments of entering Riley's den.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Taking a break on a hot day

Another heat wave

After a few days of Storm-approved summer weather, we are getting hit with another heat wave. Looks like I will be spending the next week or so walking very slowly, panting, and sleeing on airflow grates in the house. Maybe sleeping in the den too, since it's nice and cool down there.

My human is going away for a few days on Saturday, so Auntie Diane and I are going to party down together for the Canada Day weekend. I LOVE it when she comes to stay with me. I expect we will go for some slow walks and eat popcorn together and stuff like that. Can't wait!

I had a great night at physio last night. Did twenty minutes on the underwater treadmill! The human feeds me liver treats during my breaks. I LOVE LIVER TREATS. Then again, I also love goose poo - I am not really fussy.

Stay cool everyone!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

It's so hot, even the squirrels are feeling lazy. How frustrating that, without an opposable thumb, I could not open the patio doors and go eat this lazyass squirrel yesterday.

Today is something like 40 degrees with the humidity. SO not my kind of weather. You've seen my coat, right? Ugh. Even at 5:00 am, I pant like crazy on our walks.

This sucks donkey balls!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Monday, June 4, 2012

My man

This is my current boyfriend, Riley.

Over my life, I've loved some handsome men.

Mazzy was a huge wolf/german shepherd/rotty mix.

Vimy...oh, he was a handsome German shepherd. I acted like an idiot every time I saw him. Lost my composure completely. I even went back to him after he bit me.

Riley I, the boy I met in 2007, lived down the street. The German shepherd next door, I guess you could say. It was love at first sight.

And now, Riley II. Truly the boy next door.

Yeah, he's a bit smaller - and younger - than me.

Who's to say you can't love a man who isn't as big as you?

We gaze at each other from our back yard balconies. Leave treats for each other on our doorsteps. I run to him when I see him. Even let him hang off  my jowls once (normally I would eat any dog who tried that).

We have our differences. He's all about the love. I'm all about protecting the territory.

But we have more in common. We love eating grass. We love eating bunny shit. I mean, really, it's all about what you have in common, right?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I've Still Got It, Baby

Sunday. Bronte Creek Provincial Park.

The human and I were on a leisurely stroll, walking by one of the park's wooden fences when...there it went.

A squirrel. Black. Brown tail.

Tearing along once of the fence lines.

Yeah, I am old and arthritic - but when faced with such temptation, there is only one acceptable response.

Run like hell and try to catch the squirrel (dragging your leash-bound human along behind you).

It ran left.

I ran left.

It ran right.

I ran right.

It stopped.

I stopped and stared at it.

It ran again, I ran again.

We're talkin' flat out running, my friends.

This happened not once on our walk, but twice.


The human turned to me after the hunt ended and said ' you are SO going to pay for this later '.

Ohhhhh, was she right.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Hot Weather is Here. Ugh.

Not my favourite time of year. A thick, black coat of fur + 31 degree days = one tired, slow old German shepherd.

Hopefully, the human will take me for plenty of dips in the lake this week after work.

My tail still isn't functioning. I think I am wagging it, but nothing happens. Can't lift it up when I poo, either. I guess worse things could happen to me as I age, eh? I think the human is having a hard time adjusting to it. She tries to hide that from me...but I see all.

On Monday evening, we had a nice night. She sat on the balcony reading a book, and I laid by her feet, sometimes sniffing the air, sometimes napping. Very peaceful. I love my human.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I am 'Bear Dog'

The human and I went for an awesome walk at Cherry Hill Gate on Sunday. Perfect day - sunny, 16 degrees. The place was packed and usually we would both hate that. But not this time.

People were SO friendly. I was even nice to all of them. They loved petting me. Two separate women asked my human if I was a puppy. Seriously! I LOVE those women! More than one kid thought I was a wolf. One thought I was a bear. And two called me a 'bear dog'.

Yeah, that's right. I may fall on my poo now and then, but I am still a KICKASS bear dog.

We watched turtles sun themselves on logs, took a few breaks, visited with some baby geese.

I even kind of jumped up and over a large log.

Paid for it later Sunday night - but really, it was such a nice two hours filled with smells and sights and really great people and dogs, the pain was worth it.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


I am SO getting old!

Yesterday, I assumed my poo position. Was in a great squat, and had JUST finished my poo legs gave out.

Back I fell.

Right onto my poo.

I was, like, are you f'ing KIDDING me?

Killer German shepherds do NOT fall on their poo.


From now on, I will be more cautious when assuming the poo position and will ensure my old hips and back are well supported.

THAT can NOT happen again.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Cosie's Plant

Auntie Diane picked out a plant for her garden to commemorate Cosie, and I helped her to plant it on Tuesday.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Swamp Dog

I went for a dip at the Royal Botanical Gardens and came out smelling like a swamp, according to the somewhat disgusted human.

My encore? Bog rolling. More swimming. And a nice walk through the marsh.

Swamp Dog is happy.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Then and Now

Hmmm. It appears I am getting old.


All of a sudden, I am slipping on the hardwood floors more. I trip on the stairs, am less confident going down hills, walking over bumps in the road. On Sunday, I dropped a liver treat right by my face, and damned if I could find it.

Yesterday, the human tried to pull me away from some goose crap (god, it was delicious) and my hind end gave out. When she pulled me, I fell and flipped right over onto my back.

I want to sleep more, too.

That being said, I still revel in a good puddle roll and post-roll wet dog run. I still like to eat toilet paper from the roll on the wall, and yesterday I chased a robin.

But I am definitely more cautious now. About almost everything.

I hear I am headed to the vet tomorrow, no doubt to step up pain management for my arthritis. The human knows she cannot make my body young again. She is accepting it, slowly. But I know she will help me to feel comfortable as my body continues to age.


Monday, March 19, 2012

This is my lobbying face

This photo was taken at 3:00 pm on Sunday, March 18, 2012.

Time, in my opinion, for dinner.

I believe the policy of eating an early dinner on weekends to be one worthy of defence.

The human often disagrees. At which point, I commence my lobbying efforts.

(yes, I am aware that my human is a govenrment official and that I must register to lobby her on behalf of Early Dinner. I have complied with all of the requirements set out by the Lobbying Commissioner.)

I begin by staring at her.


Without blinking.

When that fails, I add whining to the mix.

If that doesn't succeed, I move closer to her and hit her with the stare/whine combo.

She will usually attempt reason.

'It's only (insert time here)!'

'Storm, lay down'

'I KNOW you aren't starving'

blah blah blah, yap yap yap.

Eventually, I ALWAYS win.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

'Spring' grass

Ok, so I ate a bit too much of the late winter grass starting to poke through way earlier than ever before.

What kind of person grabs a camera and starts taking pictures when I barf it up???

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Best Friends

Best friends are there for life. As soon as you meet, you know you're destined to walk a path together.

My best friend is Cosmos.

Yeah, she is skinny and smaller than me. But she is 100% the boss in our friendship. She sets the rules and I follow.

When we were young, we ran together off leash at Bronte, chased things, and had sleepovers at her house.

When we got older, we shifted to on-leash walks. She pranced ahead, even though she is older than me, while I trudged along behind.

We sniff things together. Pee together. Ride in the car together.

She comes to my birthday parties and shares cupcakes with me.

When my human says 'Where's Cosie???'' I get beyond excited.

Cosmos is a gentle, loving dog. The only time she gets her back up is when unfamiliar dogs have the audacity to touch her. She maintains a strict no touch rule and enforces it strongly. I get liberties as her BFF. No other dog gets away with touching her.

Yesterday, my beautiful, gentle friend joined my boyfriend in whatever magical place beautiful canine souls go to when they leave us.

My human and I are in pain. We will miss her so very much.

Cosie, I will see you there someday. I love you.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Working Girl

Family Day.

A day when Ontarians don't have to go into the office, and instead, are encouraged to spend quality time with their loved ones.

A day which federal employees do not have off...but their dog walkers do.

A day which German shepherds would prefer to enjoy their usual weekday routine instead of being stuffed into the car at 7:00 am and driven into downtown Toronto.

Upon arrival, I was ushered into a very small room. The human pressed a button on the wall - and the goddamned room started moving. I stared hard at the floor and tried to figure out what the hell was happening, but before I could, it was over.

We arrived at the human's office. I summarily examined the garbage cans in each office and found them, frankly, lacking.

I've rolled my treaty ball around a bit.

Been for a walk downtown, where I discovered I do not like sewer grates or streetcar tracks. Homeless people sleeping on the sidewalks are ok, though.

After lunch, I'm going to get to work developing some proposals for the next federal budget. Leaning toward allowing Canadians to choose whether they receive their annual income tax refunds in cash or an equal dollar value in dog biscuits.

It's good, yes?

Monday, February 13, 2012

Thursday, February 9, 2012





The human and I set off for our morning constitutional.

Strolling along when, suddenly, I smell something delicious.

I follow the enticing scent to the base of a coniferous tree.

I lean in, trying not to be obvious.

And then I continued along my way.

It wasn't for another five minutes or so that the human glanced down at me lovingly, and noticed grass sticking out of my mouth. Apparently, she also noticed how my jaw was set. Slightly open. Like, slightly holding something big that I had yet to consume.

It began.

'Storm, drop it!'

I looked up at her like she was insane...drop what?

'Storm, drop it now!'

Forget it.

Next phase began.

The human leaned over, pried my jaws open and began shaking my head up and down until the delicous piece of frozen leftover pizza fell to the ground.

I licked my lips to gather any traces of the pizza I could and continued on my way.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

I snored A LOT last night.

Monday, February 6, 2012


I rode in the back of a flatbed truck for the first time on Sunday.

We were hiking at Bronte. Cosie came along and we shortened the walk because she has trouble walking very far now. I guess the humans miscalculated though because after awhile, she started to walk like she'd been into the rum that morning. She couldn't walk straight. Her back legs started to give out, and she started to fall.

Diane tried to hoist her onto my human's shoulders so she could carry her back to the car, but Cosie spazzed out and it didn't work.

My human passed my leash to Diane, and she took off running. Frankly, I didn't like that one bit. I couldn't figure out where the hell she was going without ME.

After a few minutes, she was coming back.

Freaking awesome! I pulled at the leash, trying to run to her. We had been parted for MINUTES! Oh, such a happy reunion.

Then Richard, the farmer we always chat with at the park, drove up with his big truck.

They loaded Cosie into the flatbed first, then Diane got up there.

I admit to being somewhat confused.

They seemed to be trying to convince me to place my front paws on the flatbed gate.

Um, huh?

I resisted.

Until Diane offered me a treat.


They hoisted my back end up and in, and my human followed.

Intrigued, I sniffed the air with focus.

The truck started to move, and we had a glorious trip through Bronte park. So many smells! It was great.

Richard dropped us at our cars, Cosie and I were lifted down to the ground, and after a bit of conversation and a few treasts, we were homeward bound.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Monday, January 30, 2012

Ice barf

I found a great frozen puddle yesterday at the park. It was thin enough that I was able to jump around on it and scratch at it to loosen up some delicious ice chunks that I chomped away on.

Seconds later, I assumed my barf stance.

Slow walk...set my jaw...snout kind of protruding forward...a look of intense concentration on my face and ears back.

Sure enough...out came what was left of breakfast.

It still looked quite tasty but I was prevented from eating it.

Barf completed, I continued on my merry way.

After dinner, we went out for a walk in the snow with Amanda and Reilly and it hit me again. Heard the human announce 'oh, crap...barf position' as I assumed the stance again.

Out came dinner.


Friday, January 27, 2012

Conehead drinks

Laser Accuracy #fail

All my life, I've been able to catch even the smallest piece of flying kibble or treats from mid-air with laser accuracy.

The human could toss them straight at me, to the left, to the right, and I'd get them into my amazing German shepherd jaws.

She'd do it with popcorn, too. That's how we've spent many a rocking Friday or Saturday night together, her on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, me sitting nearby waiting to catch kernels. Sometimes she would count; I think I made it to 24 kernels in a row once. I am seriously good.

Lately I suck though.

Last night, the human created optimal catching conditions for me. Lights on, me in a sit, focused, she aimed a piece of kibble perfectly.

I missed it.

I also haven't noticed some bunnies in the dark lately. Used to be, I would go crazy before the human ever saw them. Now, even if she points them out, I look around, but eventually decide there is nothing there and the human is an idiot.

Or eyesight is starting to fade a bit?


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Monday, January 9, 2012

My Boyfriend Riley

Riley has died.

He died December 30th. His dad called to tell my human this weekend.

He was only 8.

I met Riley in 2007, just after the human and I moved to our house on the lake in Burlington. We were out for a walk on a cold day when I saw him walking toward us.

Oh, my, he was handsome.

My tail wagged. My butt wiggled. We approached each other, performed the ritual sniff, and I loved him at first sniff.

For three years, we were neighbours, sometimes going on planned walks, very often just running into each other on the street and walking from there.

In summer, we frolicked in the lake together while Riley ate rocks. He would carry his favourite rock home with him. This made his human happy.

Riley needed tennis balls in his food dish in order to eat his kibble. If Gary, his human, removed them, Riley would return them to the bowl before eating.

When we went to his house, he was like a kangaroo at the back fence, jumping up and down so that all we could see was his head bobbing up over the fence line, disappearing, then bobbing back up again.

My human used to toss kibble at us like we were trained seals or something, and we would take turns catching them in the air. Riley was really good at it.

He was so handsome. Big, strong, beautiful colouring. He had a great bark too, and he loved to chase a ball in 'Riley Park' across the street from our house. I used to sit in the grass and watch him run, jumping in the air to retrieve the ball.

When we moved, our humans kept in touch and we got to see each other for walks still. Not as often as before, but the humans made sure our relationship stayed intact.

My human and I are utterly devastated that he is gone. We loved him. We will miss him.

Riley, I will see you again one day.