Thursday, January 29, 2009

I would like to thank my human.

The other day, I lunged at a woman walking by me on the sidewalk.

Yet this morning, a man came flying toward me with a shovel, in the dark, and I barely noticed.

The human, in trying to figure out my apparent lack of common sense and inconsistency, suggested that mild retardation must be the explanation.

I can assure her, I am not, in fact, mildly retarded. And I appreciate the fact that the person she suggested it to also has faith in my mental capacity.

That being said, I can't explain my behaviour. I'm a female. Can any of us explain why we react the way we do??

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I discovered tonight that I quite like baby carrots. Not the medium sized ones; those are summarily rejected and end up on the floor. The little tiny ones. Delicious.

I also discovered something else this morning. It's hard to poo when your back paws are freezing. Lifting them up out of the cold is, well, uh, a challenge when you are mid-poo. Apparently, though, it makes humans laugh like crazy. Nice.

Monday, January 19, 2009

I went for a hike at a new place with Cosmos yesterday, a mill near Waterdown. What an awesome hike. There was a lot of fresh snow, and big, fat snowflakes falling while we walked. Lots of hills to run up and down, too. Cosie and I led the way, attacking the snow, running away from it, plowing our heads through it and generally acting like two puppies. We'd bonk into each other, bounce off each other and run. We explored, sniffed, ate snow, occasionally checked to see that the humans were still behind us, smelled the air and listened to the sounds of the forest and the water.

Seriously, it was totally awesome.

We got home mid-afternoon and I was zonked for the rest of the day. In fact, I took it upon myself to head upstairs to bed just after 7:30, before the human went up. Not a common occurrence. It was a good tired, the kind you get when you've had a ton of exercise and fresh air, you know?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

You know someone really loves you when they're willing to let their left hand freeze so that you can carry their glove in your mouth on a winter's evening walk.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Yesterday's off leash romp at Bronte was beyond fun. I had to wear my muzzle, because there were a lot of new dogs there, but that didn't get in my way. The snow was awesome - perfect, fluffy and cold, great for a girl with a fur coat to roll around in, plow her face through, and run in. I chased a hawk out of a clearing, met a couple of new dogs and behaved myself, and sniffed a whole bunch of things.

Near the end of our walk, things got even better. We were walking with Chance and her mom when my human spotted a green bulldozer/plow thing. To me, it just looked like giant prey. Lesli stepped on my leash as soon as she saw it so I couldn't take off after it. I wanted to laugh, but decided, instead, to let her think it was working. As soon as the large green prey passed us, I launched myself at it with every ounce of strength I have (which is significant). The leash came out from under her foot and I was off. She figured there was nothing to worry about, told Chance's mother "she'll never catch it...she'll be back".

What planet does she live on?

I caught the plow and ran alongside it, barking at its giant round legs and what appeared to be a huge mouth on the front of it. By now, I could vaguely hear the human running behind me, calling my name. Like I was going to stop!

Eventually, I tired of the game and had chased the prey far enough away from the pack. I returned to the pack (and knew I was in her bad books...). She ignored me. We continued on the trail with Chance and her mom. They realized I wasn't with them again, looked back, and spotted me. I was working hard...trying to make the most of the limited time I knew I had...the human figured my leash was caught...started to head towards I worked even harder...and smashed my muzzle into the pile of dog barf I had found. It was nearly impossible to get any of it with a snow covered muzzle on, but, by god, I tried.

Um, our walk ended after that.

Don't get why.

Friday, January 9, 2009

I partially killed my Christmas goose last night. Wasn't sure what else to do with myself when Adam and Nikki suddenly appeared at the house just before 11pm. Found myself with a lot of excess excitement and energy to deal with, also with the need to present them with my customary welcome offering gift. The goose was an excellent choice as offering gift, and, conveniently, since I never actually give the gift to the person, I held onto him and chewed the hell out of him after everyone was settled. Lesli woke up to the sound of my chewing and tearing the goose and got out of bed to make sure I wasn't enjoying a pair of workout pants, underwear or some other assorted contraband. Her lack of trust is appalling.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I almost caught me a cat last night! Ohhhh it was close. The human and I went to visit Adam and Nikki, who are babysitting a whole bunch of animals - two dogs, two cats, a lizard-type thing and birds. The first thing I saw when I walked in was Adam. The second was an orange cat. It was like a dream. Went for the cat, held back by my leash. Found another cat. Spent a good part of the visiting trying to get to the cats while Chopper, the Great Dane, sniffed my butt and tried to get me to play (he was really very funny).

Finally got close to Harley under the dining room table - damned if he didn't just stand there, hiss, growl and try to punch me. He didn't even run! Wtf??? It was quite dissatisfying.

I made up for it though when I got the younger, less experienced cat, cornered in the front hall. Holy crap, did he ever freak out. He was stuck behind a chair, and I was on the chair, trying to get to him. The human was trying to pull me back without damaging my neck (which is hurt). I didn't care about my neck - I wanted that cat in my mouth. In the end, the human won. She pulled me back and the cat went flying up the wall, knocking stuff over and trying to get away in its confusion. It would have been mine - it was totally freaked out.

Now, THAT was satisfying.

Chopper, Jake and I went for a romp through a graveyard later last night. We had so much fun!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Man, I've had a terrible case of canine writer's block.

Let's begin by saying Happy New Year!

Great Christmas this year, except for not seeing my human very much. Adam and Nikki drove me to Kincardine (worst drive they've ever had, but I slept peacefully in the back seat, until a tow truck driver had the nerve to come to the window of the car, then I ensured he was aware they were under my protection). Then Lesli showed up for two days. I followed her everywhere, but, despite that, she managed to elude me sometime before lunch on Boxing Day. I hear she went to Vancouver, spent time with another dog and his owner. She still hasn't come back. I think she went to some cottage in Gatineau for New Year's Eve, and I've heard talk of her coming back for me tomorrow.

That woman is NOT getting out of my sight again.

I haven't made any new year's resolutions. I'm perfect the way I am.

Time to kick Piper off his dog bed and await the impending rumoured arrival of my human.