Monday, June 30, 2008

Potentially great news!

My Burlington man might NOT be gay!

I saw him this morning - we haven't seen each other for almost two weeks, I think. He was actually excited to see me. He bounded over to me just like I was running toward him, we did a couple of play bows, he spent a good amount of time sniffing me, instead of ignoring me.

And, before we split up and continued on our walks, uh, how do I say this delicately...he was clearly VERY happy to see me...if you get my drift...


Friday, June 27, 2008

Hot again

It's wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too hot for my taste. I'm a lazy summer dog again.

Last night, the human took me to the lake for a dip. When she brought me home, I got a hose down in the back yard - then, Uber Crazy Wet Dog showed up. I ran all over the house, over and over again, scared myself, for god's sake. I was insane.

Louisa took me for a swim today. This is part of why I love her. She just knows - hot day + black dog + a dip in the lake = HAPPINESS for the black dog.

Suspect the human will take me back into the lake later tonight.

These are the days that make me love fall and winter.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It LOOKED like a squirrel

I tried to eat a chihuahua yesterday.

Snack size. Tasty looking.

Who can blame me?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Men...I just don't know...

I'm thinking about joining a convent.

Do they have dog convents?

Could I still chase and kill bunnies there? Squirrels? Mice?

As long as the only thing I have to stay away from is men, I may consider it.

My taste in men, well, it sucks.

I was advised tonight that one of my first loves, a gorgeous German shepherd, is moving to Europe. I haven't seen him much lately. He's in Ottawa, and I'm in Burlington. Long distance relationships are especially difficult when you can't talk on the phone, have no opposable thumb so cannot email, and have a brain that is easily distracted. Plus, there was the abuse back in December '06. He bit me - I managed to stay away from him for a little while, but I eventually gave in to my love and forgave him. Now he's leaving. I guess we'll have Dogbook. But not much else.

Then, there's the other German shepherd I've been totally in love with since we moved to Burlington. OMG, he's so totally gorgeous. And aloof. I like that. Every time I see him, I get all excited. The only time he really pays attention to me is when I steal his ball. I do it a lot, so that he'll pay attention to me (I'm a girl...I'm wiley). Two weekends ago, I made a devastating discovery. He's gay. Seriously. Nothing wrong with being gay. Except if I'm in love with you. THEN, I have an issue with it. I found out he was gay when he was all over my cousin Piper. It was horrible. There we were, walking together, and he's chasing after Piper like he's NEVER chased after me. I'm starting to get over it. But, really. It hurt.

I'm loathe to admit that I relapsed yesterday when it comes to a human man I love, the one who left me. I found a garbage bag downstairs. I sniffed it - and oh, my god, I was sure he was in the bag. I couldn't stand it. I was so excited. I dug around in there, looking for him. I found a shirt - pulled it out and paraded around the basement with it, convinced this was a sign that he was in the bag.

He wasn't.

The next morning, I tried to chase a few trucks that look like his.

But they weren't him either.

Do you understand now why I'm considering the convent?

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Congratulations, Piper

Hell has truly frozen over.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Bunny hunting

Last night we went for a walk at Bronte after dinner. Another nice, cool night. I didn't get to go off leash because there were too many cars in the off leash area (and I'm a bit of a bitch lately). But it didn't matter - I had a ton of fun anyway. We parked over by the farm. I got to see peacocks, chased a bunny (until I hit the end of my leash), saw some pigs and had a great wander and sniff through the woods.

Once we got through the woods, we wandered down some nice paths, through some long grass.

I heard movement in the grass - knew I had to act fast. I flew through the air, rose above all the tall grasses, and pounced on the area I figured the prey was headed. But I missed. And I couldn't chase it because of the damned leash. Still, I had room to sniff and explore and leap a few more times when I thought I heard movement. I felt so....primal. The human told me I looked like a deer, the way I sailed through the air above the grass.

Take THAT, arthritis and back pain!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

An addendum to today's post...

See? I really WAS barking at cows on the drive home from Kincardine!

The Hunter and the Hunted

I am a notorious hunter. I think we've established that. My prey drive is pretty much off the charts. If given the freedom, I would chase everything. Not just squirrels, bunnies, birds, deer and other assorted live prey - but also skateboarders, cyclists, rollerbladers and vehicles.

These past few morning walks have been particularly busy for me. The squirrels have been really active - in the parks, running up trees, running along telephone lines (which requires me to chase them from the ground while they run away from me in the air).

And the bunnies, they've been everywhere. I surprise them a lot - I come around a corner, and, wham, there's a bunny that needs to be chased. My leash stops me from catching them - but that doesn't mean the chase isn't still required.

Oddly enough, though, these past few mornings, my human and I have been the prey. There is a little parkette we walk through every morning (it's where Mr. Bunny used to live. I wrote about him last year). Well, the other morning we were walking down the path, and we were totally dive bombed by a bird! The human is taller than me so she got the worst of it. This male redwinged blackbird was making it very clear that we were not welcome. He was making tons of noise and dive bombing Lesli's head. It was nuts - what a jerk! Every single time we went through there, until this morning, this dude would beat the crap out of us. He's gone now. Suppose his babies or whatever he was protecting have left the nest. It was ridiculous. I am SO not used to being anyone's prey. Especially some snotty little bird I could eat in one bite.

We had a good weekend last weeked. Went to Kincardine. I slept a lot on the drive, both up and back (though I woke up in time to bark at cows, horses, goats and sheep through the window, and took great pride in the looks of concern I elicited). I got to swim in Lake Huron, and retrieved a killer stick of driftwood from the lake. I brought it home with me. It was a little hard to get up the beach stairs with it but I made it.

Anyhoo, that's the update for today. I'll post a picture of my amazing stick later tonight. It really is awesome.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Hot dog

I'm in Kincardine, enduring the first heatwave of the Summer of 2008, and it's brutal. I don't know how other dogs feel on days like this. Maybe if you haven't got a really thick coat it's not so bad. But when your coat is black and super thick, it's rough. Even inside in the air conditioning, I'm really lethargic. I just feel like laying around. Our walk this morning was half the distance and took as long as our usual walk. I just lumbered along. Lesli took me for an early morning swim today so that I could cool off. That helped a bit. And there are some breezes here in Kincardine. But there really is no getting away from it.

I'm a hog dog.

Not much else is new.

I think I've adjusted to our pack's new routine.

We get up early, go for a walk. I have breakfast. Human has breakfast. We have a short snuggle while she reads and has her coffee. Then, she goes upstairs and does a bunch of things. Comes back down, gives me a peanut butter kong and my treaty ball. Next is my nap. Then, Louisa comes and we go for a really fun walk together. Next, another nap. The human comes home. I eat again. We rest while my dinner settles. We go to Bronte. Sometimes we go for a drive around after Bronte. And then we go to bed.

I think I can live with this.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

George - an update

I brought George to bed with me last night.

Now he's missing part of his face and more of his bum.

I love him.

Even though I am systematically destroying him.

Lesli put some of his stuffing back into him.

It's still there.

For now...

Monday, June 2, 2008


Today's post is all about bums. Because there is a lot going on with me when it comes to bums right now.

Let's begin with the gift Louisa gave me. His name is George. He is a bunny. She gave him to me on Friday - such a totally awesome surprise. I loved George from the moment I sniffed him. I showed him my love by chewing his bum out within the first hour of our friendship. (he is now missing part of his cheek as well).

I am also reluctant to mention that, just as I suspected and mused about in one of my recent posts, after taking me to the vet and letting them torture my bum and my left anal gland, the evil human did take me back the next day and allow them to torture me again, this time with my right anal gland. My reluctance comes in admitting that, since the anal gland hell, my bum actually does feel better.

Goose bums. I love them because they produce yummy goose poo. There is a whole bunch of it across the street right now because flocks of geese have returned to graze on the park grass. It's a buffet. No matter how hard the human tries, I manage to eat my fair share of goose poo. I think I ate too much of it yesterday, which leads to my last note about bums.

Oh, my, is my bum giving me trouble right now. I woke the human up at five this morning and made it as clear as I possibly could that I had to go out ASAP. She rushed into her clothes, threw some shoes on and out we went. I barely made it around the corner before I really had to go. I got through the day, and my walk with Louisa. Then the human came home, fed me, and out I went into the back yard. I was sick again. We went to the park, and I had to poo about five times. She's making me some rice now.

Oh, my bum. Sure hope it feels better tomorrow.