Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Postscript: Mr. Bunny

Sadly, we believe Mr. Bunny has left us. A couple of weeks ago, we saw a small pile of beige fur on the grass near Mr. Bunny's home, and we haven't seen him since. He was there, every morning, rain or shine. So it's not looking good. We will miss you, Mr. Bunny. We already do. I really wanted to eat you.

Two Hot Chicks

It was a really warm night last night. We went for an early short walk - my usual after dinner stroll - before going to Bronte later for a run.

I wore my usual black fur coat, and Lesli was wearing a white tank top and capris.

We must have looked pretty damned good, because first, a truck with three guys in it honked. Then, a car with two guys in it honked. Then a guy on a motorcycle nearly rear ended the car in front of him because he was looking back at us. I figure it's me - I'm hot. So we were feeling pretty good for a couple of middle aged broads.

I stopped for a poo, and the cool came to an end. At least for the human.

See, when you like to eat grass and other assorted fibrous products, sometimes, once in awhile, stuff doesn't go the way it should. And you need a

Which is what happened last night.

At first it was all going fine. But just when I thought I'd finished...I got that feeling.

I did my little "ohmygodithinkthere'ssomethingstuckinmybum" dance. Wiggled around. All it did was bob from side to side. I tried squatting again. No luck. Meanwhile, doofus is laughing her head off because she's watching me try to get a swinging piece of poo off my butt, and she knows what she's going to have to do. She finally went for it - knelt down and, while still laughing and while all of the rush hour traffic on Lakeshore watched, she pulled the piece of poo out of my butt.

Ya, we looked very cool at that moment.

She laughed for quite some time still as we walked on.

Gotta tell you, I appreciate the help.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Top Ten Signs I Had a Great Weekend

1. My belly is full of horse poo

2. My belly is full of pig poo

3. A horse is still recovering from being chased around its pasture by Storm, the Huntress

4. Got to watch my stupid human try to catch me while I chased the horse

5. I barely moved during the seven hour drive home from Ottawa (seven hours thanks to the OPP closing the 401 west just past Port Hope)

6. Successfully avoided Link the scary pig for 48 hours

7. Acquired a new chew toy by stealing it from an innocent 13-month old while he slept (consider it payback for petting me by repeatedly smacking me on the head)

8. The llamas at The Big Apple are still talking about the terror of being barked at by the scary black German shepherd

9. Hot date at Conroy Pit with my Ottawa boyfriend, Vimy (I've got them in every city)

10. Being called a "goose shit eating pig" during evening walk once finally home in Burlington...which belly is also full of goose poo.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I Swear...

I did not pay the squirrel to drop a nut on Lesli's head this morning.

But I would have. Because it was hilarious.

We were walking along Lakeshore, and as we passed under a big chestnut tree, a nut came down and hit her on the head. We both looked up - and there was a grey squirrel looking down at us.

I think he's some kind of kamikaze squirrel, because he was at it again tonight. He missed us this time. But not because the little bastard didn't try.

It's one thing to hit her.

That's just funny.

If he hits me, he's dead.

That is, if I can figure out how to climb trees.

Been workin' on that one for seven years now...but I'll figure it out.

Lesli and I are going on a road trip tomorrow - I'll report back on our adventures Sunday night!

Monday, August 13, 2007

The White and Black Bunny

I lost count at ten bunnies this morning, there were so many - and all so close.

There was one strange bunny, though.

On Burloak, we were on the east side of the street and this strange looking bunny stepped onto the street from the west side, getting ready to cross and heading toward us. Because it was so weird looking, I started to bark to warn everyone. Lesli looked over, saw it and started to pull me away. Usually she lets me get close to the bunnies...not sure what she didn't like about this one.

Maybe its colour? It was black with a white stripe from its head to its tail.

I don't know what her issue was...

It stood on the street for a few seconds with its tail up in the air watching me bark, before it decided not to head toward us after all and went back onto the sidewalk.

Really wish I had been able to get closer to it.

Friday, August 10, 2007 tummy....

My stomach....ughhhh....I feel pretty crappy. Literally. My marrow bone was sooooooooooooooooo delicious...and for dinner, I had rabbit - in honour of Mr. Bunny. I couldn't sit still long enough for my ass to touch the ground while Lesli put the food down - the smell - my God - it was heaven. And the taste...ahhhhhh.....

But, oh, the price I am paying.

I think I need to go out again.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me

Or, "Happy BooDay" as my idiot human has been singing since we woke up.

Yes, today is my birthday. I'm seven - which, according to a chart that takes the size of dog breeds into account, means I am about 55 in your human years.

We slept in a little to celebrate, and when we woke, I was horribly serenaded with "Happy BooDay to you..." and the ever so popular Beatles song, "Today's Your BooDay".

I'm a lucky, lucky dog.

I expect there will be a cupcake tonight for us to share...probably some delicious canned Innova dog food for dinner...and a roasted marrow bone (I have been cut off bones since my teeth are wearing down, so this will be extra special).

Here's to a great eighth year of exploring this amazing world we live in!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Heatwaves = Tired German Shepherds

We have been in the first real heatwave of summer for about a week, and I'm dyin' here. Lesli sleeps with me in the living room so I don't have to go upstairs, where it's even hotter. We have air conditioning, but she's trying to do the right thing and keep it set pretty high. I say screw the environment and the bank account and crank up the a/c. And I think my telepathic messaging system has almost penetrated her slow human mind...she's starting to think the same thing.

I've spent my days being uber-lazy so I don't have many stories to tell. There was a morning last week when one of my dreams came true. I managed to break free of her while I was chasing Mr. Bunny. Can't tell you how excited I was - I chased that stupid rabbit all over the place, while Lesli was shouting "Storm, here!". YEAH, RIGHT!!! Like I'm coming back for a tiny piece of venison/salmon treat when I can have a whole rabbit?!?!?! In the end, she caught me as I ran by and my taste of freedom was over.

I've had a few swims in Lake Ontario, some sloooowwwwwww walks and a few good squirrel chases. But I'm mainly laying around and waiting for the heat to break.

I'm posting a picture from last weekend - treed a black squirrel and was patiently waiting for the tasty little guy to come back down and say hello to me. If you look closely at my mouth, you will see I was more than ready for him....