Saturday, November 24, 2007


Ok, so, I was right. Not long after my last post, Lesli hauled that huge blue thing she used to haul around all the time when we lived in Ottawa down the stairs. She put in in the trunk of that thing we drive around in. And then everyone started getting shoes and coats on. Clearly, we were all going somewhere. And I do mean ALL of us - no way were they leaving without me.

We all piled into the car and went for a ride. I slept. Things seemed to be getting back to normal. A car ride, the three of us - nothing really unusual there.

Then, we pulled up at a big place with lots of other cars. Lesli kept asking for kisses. I gave her one or two, just to shut her up. Next thing I know, she's out of the car, pulling that big blue thing out of the trunk. Auntie Alypoo is moving to Lesli's side of the car, assuming the alpha role. And we're moving - and my human is outside on the sidewalk??


We were driving away and she was still out there?

I stared out the car window with what must have been a very clear "WTF" expression on my face.

She waved. I saw the words "Boo Boo" come out of her (man, does she HAVE to do that in public?) and we were gone.

I'm over it now.

I was over it by the time we hit the 401.

Now it's time for Storm and Alypoo's Excellent Adventure!

I've already started the festivities by showing her how I eat toilet paper from the roll.

It's like my favourite party trick.

Vacation Time

It looks like my human is getting ready to leave me for a bit. She's going to London tonight, and I'm going to have a vacation with my Auntie Alypoo. I'll keep notes and update everyone on my vacation when I return December 5th.

Friday, November 23, 2007

First Snow of Winter 2007!

We had our first snowfall yesterday. When we woke up in Kincardine and grandma let me out for a pee, you could have knocked me over with a feather. The grass was covered in snow, and big fat flakes were coming down.

I ran in it! I drove my nose through it like a plow! I rolled in it! I peed on it!

The human and I drove home to Burlington in it - that wasn't a whole lot of fun, but, once we made it, we headed straight to Bronte.

And out came my inner puppy.

To hell with the aching back!

More running! More self playing! I chased sticks, snowflakes, birds and whatever else I could find. I ran through the fields while more big, fat flakes fell on my face. I ate it with reckless abandon, biting at the snow on the ground and devouring it. I rolled in it - over and over, wiggling on my back. I ran my snout through it and basically experienced every ounce of joy I could squeeze out of it. And I peed on it - over and over and over.

I can't tell you what it is about snow that we dogs love so much. Maybe that there's just so much you can do in it - it's fluffy, it's cool, and it's fun. You humans should just let go and try letting your inner puppies out a bit more often when it snows. Don't worry about the roads, shoveling the driveway. Go outside and make snow angels, play with your dogs. Have fun! Live the miracle of it!

As for me, it's time to rest. I've exhausted myself.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Dog Park Adventures and Handsome Men

What a great weekend!

The dog park was busy Saturday morning. I met a really great dog named Bentley. He's younger than I usually like - only 11 months - but I had fun with him anyway. Then we saw Hughie, the little border collie my human loves (Hughie makes cute little sounds when she pets him) and his packmate, Jade. Then there was Max, who was focused on humping Abby, a yellow lab who totally let Max hump her. She sat down once or twice, but never told him off. We were all standing around waiting for a fight and thinking, like, God, tell him off, he's being obnoxious! But she didn't. Max wisely stuck with Abby and didn't give me or Cosmo a try.

I rolled in something totally delicious - I smelled fantastic. The human thought it was just dirt. Until we got into the car. Then she smelled the amazing aroma I had draped myself in. I figured she'd like it. But our next stop was Pet Connection, the pet shop we always visit. And the location of the dreaded.....bath. I was unceremoniously dumped into a large tub, and tortured with warm water and smelly soap until the beautiful aroma of the substance I had rolled in was brutally snuffed out. Oh, I screamed and cried. But no one came back to help me.

We topped off our day with a walk with Riley. Ahhhhhhh, Riley. He's so totally hot. German shepherd, younger than me. So confident and handsome. I melt like a complete idiot whenever I see him. I suppose I've got a weakness for good looking German shepherds. I should stay away, I know. I lusted after Vimy, and he bit me. I fawn all over Riley, and find out he's got girls all over the neighbourhood. I bark at one of them, Annie, whenever I get the chance. She acts all sweet and nice, but I know better. I know it's a ploy to steal my man. I should walk away. But I can't stop myself.

My human has good looking cops. I have good looking German shepherds. And neither one of us is very good at walking away from them!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Dear God...

I'm going gray.

My snout is gray on the top and bottom. It used to be I had just a little gray above and below my lips. Now, though, it's really noticeable.

I suppose this makes me more distinguished? Elegant? Perhaps I will command greater respect?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Request for Information

Here's my dilema. I'm a middled aged girl, and my metabolism is slowing down. Even though I exercise a lot and I only get two pitiful cups of dog food per day, along with a bit of meat and the odd dog treat, I tend to put on weight. So I have to work hard to watch my figure now.

I can account for my dog food, but I haven't got a clue how many calories are in the other staples in my diet.

Does anyone know how many calories are in:

1. Kleenex (calories per one Kleenex)
2. Toilet paper (per sheet, and I can calculate from there)
3. Toilet paper roll (per roll)
4. Goose poo (per ounce?)
5. Fabric (um, how about calories for cotton, satin and flannel)
6. Rabbit poo (per pellet)
7. Grass
8. Paper towel (per sheet, the big Costco ones)
9. Bird seed (mixed as well as nyger seed)

I think that about does it for the things I snack on regularly.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Wild Day at the OLDP

Lesli and I have been meeting up with Diane and Cosmo pretty much every day at the off leash dog park at Bronte. I have such a great time. Some days, we get there before Diane and Cosmo. Lesli has learned the extent of my superior senses finally, because I always sense that they're about to arrive long before the dumb human sees them coming around the corner and into the parking lot (how these humans survive with their less than stellar senses, I will never know). Once I sense they're coming, I go nuts and run to the parking lot. I guess that makes it hard for Diane to drive, with me rushing her van, so Lesli puts me on the leash now until Diane is parked and out of her van. Then she lets me go, and I FLY to the van - through the fields, over the hills, nothing can stop me.

Sometimes, Diane and Cosmo get there first and they hide on me. I see their van when we pull in, sniff it, and try to find them.

Yesterday was a particularly good romp. Diane and Cosmo brought Bella, a golden retriever puppy. We had some great chases in the grass - I really felt like playing. We met up with Beau, another golden, same age and almost Bella's twin. Those two were embarrassing. Like Romeo and Juliet. Inseparable and crazy. Cosmo played "fun cop" and let them know when they were simply having too much fun for her taste, and I stayed close to the humans.

When we got to my "secret" watering hole, I took them all down there.

When Bella emerged, the humans gasped. She was absolutely covered in mud. It was exceptional. I was somewhat jealous. The humans kept saying they wished they had cameras. This golden retriever was caked in mud from the bottom of her paws to about two thirds of the way up her body. And she was, of course, overcome with joy about it.

I wonder how long it took to get her clean?

We're getting ready to go there again now. Boy, I sure love Diane and I really like Cosmo. We get along well. I love our walks.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Farewell, Cali Sue

Cali died Sunday morning. Jeff woke up, and she didn't. I will be spending the night comforting my human - she is heartbroken.

I never met Cali, but I want to thank her. For showing my human the power of the love that can exist between dogs and their owners. For making Lesli want to come looking for me.

I'm pretty sure heaven is a better place now that Cali is there.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

My Name is Storm...and I'm a Crotch-a-holic

It's true. I cannot deny it anymore. I need help.

The chewed chair pad is the last straw. Lesli had been working in her office during the morning. She went out, and I went upstairs. I sniffed the chair pad...and I had to have it. I couldn't stop. I was out of control.

When she came home, I acted normal. Then she went upstairs. She didn't yell, she didn't make a sound. But I knew she'd find the chair pad. So I hopped onto the couch, and got ready. When she came into the living room, I wagged my tail as fast as I could, plastered my ears to my head and tried to look as cute and helpless as possible.

I don't know how to stop eating the crotches out of things.

Countless pairs of underwear and pants have paid the price.

I can de-crotch a pair of underwear in seconds. I am stealth. You can try to hide them. But I will prevail.

It's not just underwear. Many, many pairs of flannel pyjama pants in our household have lost their crotches. Workout pants. Any pants, really. You wear 'em, I eat 'em.

I'll even chew the facecloth someone uses to wash with.

I can't stop myself.

I need help.

I just can't explain it.