My name is Storm, and I am a bark-a-holic.

omg - my last post was in AUGUST?

I'm such a dork.

See, there's been all this craziness going on around me lately and I guess I got distracted.

I know, I know, you're asking "Storm, what's been happening??"

Let's start with the human's new job (she goes off every day to earn something called money, which, she tells me, pays for my food and toys and treats and new dog beds and dog walks with my boyfriend...). She's giving off way happier energy now, but she's also running around more and I get more evening walks with Diane and my BFF Cosmos. That's cool - the human still makes sure we get plenty of quality time together, but still, it's a change.

Then all these strange people started showing up at our den. They'd walk around it, check things out, talk with the human. WTF? It was very hard to control. Combine that with the recent appearance of boxes, into which our den belongings are slowly being inserted, and it doesn't take an intelligent German shepherd to figure out something's goin' down.

She said something about buying me a house for my birthday this year. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Whatever it is, we'll get through it together. It's not as easy to deal with now that I'm older though. Sometimes I wish I was a less intelligent and intuitive breed so I wouldn't pick up on these things.

On the bright side, fall is here and the weather is finally good for a girl with a thick fur coat. I'm happy - the first morning we woke up and it was cool, I started doing play bows at 5:00 am I was so happy!

K, off to bed, promise I'll try to write more. Life is good - a bit chaotic, but hey, I've got food, comfy beds, a hot boyfriend and a roof over my head.

This evening, I scared a calf and caused a minor goat stampede.

I am fulfilled.

I turned ten on August 9th!

It was a good birthday, starting with raw, delicious stewing beef mixed into my breakfast kibble. I had a great walk with my pack, and at dinner time, Diane and Cosmos showed up. We went for a walk and hung out for awhile.

I was a bit freaked out when Cosmos started sniffing the pork-hide bone my human got for me a few weeks ago. She handed it to me a few weeks ago and was all excited; I really couldn't have cared less about the thing and made that abundantly clear.

However, once Cosmos expressed interest in it, I had to consume it. And that's what I did - just sat there being rude, not visiting at all, eating my pork-hide bone. The human came home from her first day at a new job and I didn't even get up to greet her; just ate my bone. Oh, I looked up, but that's all I could afford to do.

Aunt Diane ratted me out, told the human I'd been desperately eating the thing since Cosmos noticed it and hadn't been doing anything else, and damned if the human didn't stride over, remove the bone from between my greedy paws and tell me I was being a bad hostess.

Hostess?

Wtf is that?

I'm a dog, for god sake - someone was threatening my secret food stash - I HAD to eat it immediately.

Anyway, I forgot out my irritation when the doorbell rang and my boyfriend Riley showed up.

*sigh*

Cosmos, Riley and I did some sniffing together for awhile and hung out before the human came out of the kitchen with some amazing pumpkin-kibble cupcake things with natural peanut butter icing. I had to endure the stupid candle thing again this year, but it was so worth it. We each got a cupcake and chowed down. My god, they were delicious.

Ohhhhh and Diane brought me some dried up bull penises as a present!

My stomach was truly happy at the conclusion of my tenth birthday.

I'm really having trouble with my back and hips lately.

Tonight I struggled again to go up the stairs to bed.

The human and the vet are trying to make it feel better for me, but right now, man, it hurts.

I like to give welcome gifts when people come to the den. I wiggle around the house, searching for just the right gift to bestow upon them. It's a critical part of the welcome ritual for me.

Sometimes it's one of my stuffed animals, other times it's a shoe, boot, flip flop, slipper. Once I gave my dog walker one of my human's bras. Another time, I rooted out a fresh loaf of bread from the shopping bags and carried to to my human to welcome her home.

The other day, when Wayne, my dog walker arrived, I felt I wanted to give him something new and different instead of his usual welcome gift (my kong).

I looked around, and my gaze landed on a box sitting by the basement stairs, waiting to go down.

It was filled with things wrapped in newspaper. I chose one of the items, pulled it out of the box, removed it from its newspaper wrapping and delivered it to Wayne.

He seemed to like the cannister lid.

Who wouldn't?

My human appeared to be somewhat confused by the newspaper carelessly laying on the living room carpet and the lid sitting on the kitchen counter - but it didn't take her long to put two and two together.

She called me a "goof".

??

In the end, I decided to bite his head off.

Best way to kill a vampire.

Unfortunately for me, the human intervened and Edward survived, with only a slightly mangled ear.

Great.