Men...I just don't know...

I'm thinking about joining a convent.

Do they have dog convents?

Could I still chase and kill bunnies there? Squirrels? Mice?

As long as the only thing I have to stay away from is men, I may consider it.

My taste in men, well, it sucks.

I was advised tonight that one of my first loves, a gorgeous German shepherd, is moving to Europe. I haven't seen him much lately. He's in Ottawa, and I'm in Burlington. Long distance relationships are especially difficult when you can't talk on the phone, have no opposable thumb so cannot email, and have a brain that is easily distracted. Plus, there was the abuse back in December '06. He bit me - I managed to stay away from him for a little while, but I eventually gave in to my love and forgave him. Now he's leaving. I guess we'll have Dogbook. But not much else.

Then, there's the other German shepherd I've been totally in love with since we moved to Burlington. OMG, he's so totally gorgeous. And aloof. I like that. Every time I see him, I get all excited. The only time he really pays attention to me is when I steal his ball. I do it a lot, so that he'll pay attention to me (I'm a girl...I'm wiley). Two weekends ago, I made a devastating discovery. He's gay. Seriously. Nothing wrong with being gay. Except if I'm in love with you. THEN, I have an issue with it. I found out he was gay when he was all over my cousin Piper. It was horrible. There we were, walking together, and he's chasing after Piper like he's NEVER chased after me. I'm starting to get over it. But, really. It hurt.

I'm loathe to admit that I relapsed yesterday when it comes to a human man I love, the one who left me. I found a garbage bag downstairs. I sniffed it - and oh, my god, I was sure he was in the bag. I couldn't stand it. I was so excited. I dug around in there, looking for him. I found a shirt - pulled it out and paraded around the basement with it, convinced this was a sign that he was in the bag.

He wasn't.

The next morning, I tried to chase a few trucks that look like his.

But they weren't him either.

Do you understand now why I'm considering the convent?