I noticed the other day that I now have little flecks of grey appearing on my ears.

I'm getting older. And wiser.

Time has taught me some valuable life lessons.

"Dogs" that weigh under 20 pounds are not, in fact, dogs. They are snacks.

Spring is the best time to eat goose poo. Great combo of fresh and cured frozen winter poo.

You cannot afford to be complacent in the car. Threats are everywhere; always protect the car.

Toilet paper can be eaten while still on the wall; no need to wait to raid the garbage for the empty roll.

Puddles are little pools of joy and should be jumped in, run through, and generally enjoyed at every possible opportunity, no matter what your age or how bad your back is.

Joggers are evil.

Rollerbladers and skateboarders are worse.

When you eat grass, it sometimes makes it hard to get the poo out of your bum.

Cats never lose their allure as prey.

Barking is fun and should be done as often as possible.

If you're on the furniture while the humans are out, always be alert so you can hop off quickly and not get caught.

Chasing provincial park trucks and vehicles is super fun.

You cannot smush dead rodents into your mouth through a muzzle. Don't bother trying.

Snow = joy. Don't ever forget it.

If you have a dog seatbelt on, hang your head out the open car window and bark at cows; you can cause mini-stampedes and it's really fun.

Greyhounds and whippets are hard to catch unless you can outsmart them. And that ain't hard.

Don't steal food that has chipotle peppers in it.

Your pack is everything.

Humans are imperfect, but still worth loving.