German shepherd sleeps

You never know where evil may be lurking.

It's my job to detect and deter evil.

Take this morning, for instance.

We got up early, the human and I, due to my sudden need to poop at 4:25 am.

Got home, she fed me breakfast (rice, disgusting) and made her fancy coffee. Then I guess because it was early and cold, she decided to turn the gas fireplace on.

She flicked a switch.

WHOOSH.

Wtf was that sound? I turned fast and stared down the dancing flames.

Cocked my head to the left.

To the right.

Continued to stare them down for a few more seconds.

Proceeded to issue a low, gutteral growl in their direction.

When that didn't put and end to them, I moved to my next weapon.

I commenced barking at the gas fireplace.

Don't know where the human gets off laughing at me like she did.

This morning, the human gave me her cafe mocha mug so I could lick the inside.

Instead, I ate the mug.

Well, tried to, anyway. As soon as she heard crunching she grabbed the mug away from me and wouldn't let me finish it.

She said that I am not a dog.

I am a goat.

Whatever. The mug was crunchy and tasted great.

I think I ate too much snow today.

And something has upset my stomach.

As a result, I'm spending this Friday evening whining a lot, locked in indecision between having to poo and/or having to pee.

On my last trip to the back yard, I settled on barking, since I couldn't decide otherwise.

Since the computer is in the basement in our new house, and the basement is very cold, and I like to follow the human down there, and therefore must go back up the stairs, which is hard on my knees, well, we haven't been downstairs to write very often.

But life is good!

I ate an Always Infinity maxi-pad on Tuesday - pulled the box off a shelf in the bathroom and had a little feminine product buffet. So delish. The human was a bit worried about the ultra-absorbent effect on my digestive system so she watched me pretty closely. My appetite remained good and things were coming out the other end too, so I got away with it.

Since she hid the box on me yesterday, I ate some toilet paper off the roll on the wall instead.

I was right. Something WAS going on.

We moved dens.

What a totally confusing few weeks I've had.

But I'm settling into the new den. Lots of woods and nature around. I've made two friends - Riley lives next door, he's a puppy. And Oreo is a pug, she lives around the corner. After initially considering eating them, I quickly changed my mind and have decided to be friends with them instead.

There are WAY too many stairs in our new house. That's the only thing I don't like. The human is trying to come up with ways to help me manage the stairs.

Today is Daylight Savings Time. Apparently, for humans, that means an extra hour of sleep on this cold Sunday morning.

For dogs, it means absolutely nothing.

We were the only ones out walking at 4:50 this morning.

Something is definitely going down at the den.

Boxes everywhere.

Friends coming over to help the human move said boxes around.

Lots of "comforting" pats on the head.

I'm not stupid.

I am fully aware that something is going on.

Think it's all going to be ok, but I'm not totally convinced.

We shall see.

Just to be safe, I'm barking at everything.