Memo

To: Chipmunks
From: Storm
Date: July 7, 2009
Subject: Recommendation/solution

Over the years, I have seen many examples which lead me to conclude that you are, as a species, prone to both daredevil-like behaviour and suicidal tendencies. You run out onto the road in front of cars, timing it so that the hapless driver has no chance to stop, thus ensuring a quick and effective end to your lives. You repeatedly dart across paths, tails raised, squeaking, taunting me and daring me to catch you.

Today, however, one of your kind exhibited truly unique and, in my estimation, brilliant behaviour when he literally jumped directly into my mouth.

I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

He has now died, and gone to heaven.

So, chipmunks everywhere, if you're feeling blue, suicidal, or thinking you'd like to become the Evil Knievel of the rodent world, I strongly suggest more of you use the method employed by the chipmunk noted above.