So, if I look like some werewolf from a stupid vampire movie, according to that guy the other night, I thought to myself, what duties and responsibilities come with that?

Did some research and was happy to learn that as a werewolf, I am capable of killing vampires.

Who knew?

Convenient, since I am really, truly sick of listening to the human go on and on about some fictional sparkly vampire named Edward.

I located this plastic version of the Sparkly One, and decided to test my werewolf skills. Edward received a thorough sniffing, and I considered chewing off his right hand...