I peed on a fish last night

The fish has been on the sidewalk outside our house for a few days.

Either this fish had super-hero strength but not the brains to accompany it, and he got there by himself, or, the more likely scenario, he was scooped out of the lake by a gull and dropped on the sidewalk. I haven't really paid any attention to him.

Last night, though, he caught my attention.

I stopped to give him a thorough sniff.

The human exclaimed, out loud, "Storm, you're not going to insult that poor fish's body by peeing on it, are you???"

I answered her immediately by lifting my back leg, aligning myself just right, and giving the fish a good pee.

Then I proceeded to sniff and give a quick lick to a discarded popsicle stick.

Hanging with my peeps

I had such a great day yesterday. Lesli took me to Bronte in the morning, and it was just like old times. I got to walk with Cosmos, Bentley, I saw Chance, and Diane and the other humans I know and love. It was great. Cosie and I ran in the creek, Bentley chased his toy, Chance got cookies for greeting us like a good girl (and we also managed to mooch some cookies). We ran, sniffed stuff, and generally had an awesome time. Boy, it felt good to run. Even if it was a bit hot.

When we got home, I had to have a bath cause I was pretty muddy and a bit smelly. I didn't cry during my bath - huge step for me. I still hated it, but I tolerated it a bit better than usual. The cold water felt good in the heat. Then, I slept all afternoon. I was a tired girl from all that exercise and socialization.

It's Monday now. The human has walked me, and left me to go to work. I'm about to have a long nap and wait for Louisa to come take me for a walk.

And your point is?

I barked at my dinner last night.

You read that right.

Not "I barked during my dinner".

I barked at my dinner.

And I really don't see what's so funny about it.

Still sick

Yeah, we thought things were better on Tuesday, but I was sick again yesterday and last night. The human and I didn't get much sleep again last night. Man, I've gotta stop eating so much crap. I forget what it does to me.

I'm napping today, trying to catch up on my sleep. The human has gone hunting or something. She must be tired, too.

Sick. Again.

I don't know what I got into, but I was sick again all last night. It started when we got home from Kincardine. I had to go out right away, and then it continued. Still, on our morning walk today, I went to the bathroom, like, five times. I feel like hell.

I'm trying to remember if I ate anything weird. It's all a blur. I just eat and eat and eat. Maybe it was stress. I did find the weekend a bit stressful at times, and that is guaranteed to upset a German shepherd's tummy.

Whatever the cause, it was a long night for the human and me. She just gave me a tiny bit of rice for breakfast, so I'm starving. Sure hope I can make it through the day without getting sick in the house.

Another weekend, another bath

It's been a busy weekend for a middle aged dog. We went to Kincardine Friday after the human finished work. I slept the entire way - except for when we were about ten minutes away from the house. I woke up because the car stopped. When I looked out the window (which the human rolled up very quickly upon stopping), there were horses on the road, and two dogs circling our car. I barked my brains out and told them in NO uncertain terms what I thought of them being so close to our car. It was a bit insulting to see how little they cared.

Lesli got out of the car, and so did a man in a car behind us. The man went to the farmhouse to tell the owners their horses were loose, and Lesli worked to keep the dogs off the road. My job was to bark and bark and bark and keep everyone alerted. I think I did very well. A lady came out to get the horses and dogs off the road, and we continued our journey.

I was really wound up after that, so I was super excited when we got to the house. I looked in through the back door glass, and I could see Piper - and Sophie and Evelyn! I went in and we all had an awesome greeting. I did some sniffing around the property and then just chilled out. I'm not used to being around kids - I would say I did very well with all the energy and hugs and poking and stuff.

They left the next day and things got quiet. Piper and I went for a walk and saw a bunny, and then chilled out in the air conditioning after our walk. Later on, the human gave me another damned bath. I didn't cry. I'm starting to just give up to the fact that she's gonna torture me with these things. One good thing - when she finished, there was plenty of property for me to run around on and roll in the grass and do the totally crazy wet dog thing!

I think we're heading home soon. I'll bark at a few cows and horses, and then have a nap in the car. It's hot, too, so I'm not really exerting any energy I don't have to.

Riley kissed me!

He did! He kissed me this morning! And he was all excited to see me - he pulled away and ran toward me! I played it cool and sniffed a post, pretending I didn't really care.

But, OMG, I was so excited!!!

Forced Confession

Apparently, it's one thing to steal food from your human's plate, or a kleenex from the garbage...or your human's car keys, blackberry...that type of thing.

It's another to steal from a store.

Uh, I am being forced to confess that I am a brazen thief.

I'm really sorry, but it's just my nature. I am a scavenger. And if you look away, I will pursue edible objects. And inedible objects.

If you take me into a pet store where there are all sorts of stunningly delicious smelling foods at nose level, well, what the hell do you expect??

I was thwarted at every turn tonight. While the human chatted, picked up my food rations, paid for said food rations, I tried to steal all sorts of things - roasted marrow bones, little treats in bags (so easy to open when you have canine teeth), pig's ears, bullwrinkles (know what they are?heh heh heh). But she kept popping me away from them with the leash.

Until her hands were full.

The moment I saw she was balancing her purse, a bag of canned food, a 75-pound German shepherd on a leash and a massive bag of Evo Reduced Fat dog food, I knew my chance had arrived.

I went for it, and stole a red pressed rawhide bone out of a box. She thought I was nosing around in stuffed toys. She didn't see the gift bags there with the rawhide in them.

By the time she noticed, not only was it too late, but she couldn't do a damned thing about it.

She confessed my transgression.

And I got to take my contraband rawhide with me.

She called me a 'klepto' all the way home.

We drove by Halton Regional Police headquarters, and kept our heads low.

None of the coppers saw us. Whew.

She's a good human, helping me to make my getaway.

However, I have been advised that I must apologize for my errant, criminal ways.

Uncle Lorne, I am very sorry I stole the rawhide bone.

(it really was delicious though...)

It's Friday, and it's storming

You'd think I would like storms. They're my namesake. But this morning, when there was a bit of thunder going on as we were preparing to leave for our first walk of the day, I wouldn't go out the front door. I was acting scared. The human tried to coax me, but I just looked at her and stayed inside. She tried using the magic word - "squirrel!!!" - I perked up my ears, looked around for the offending rodent-like creature, but no way was I stepping over the threshold, even for that. In the end, the bitch dragged me out. I was alright once she got me out. I guess I was afraid for nothing.

Had a great day yesterday. It wasn't humid, so the temperature was more enjoyable. We had an awesome morning walk, then I had a good walk with Louisa and a dip in the lake. Hung out with Adam, and then Lesli came home and took me to Bronte - where we saw Louisa and Quinn!! We walked there for about 45 minutes, I had a good run and got bitchy with a chocolate lab.

After all that exercise, I slept like a baby.

How would I have known the human had a camera on the nightstand?

Uh, hi

Wow, have I ever been lazy about writing in my blog lately. It's just been so hot - I really haven't felt like doing much. I've chased the odd squirrel, a few birds, had plenty of good swims in the heat but my energy level is pretty low.

I'm a super happy dog right now because Adam is back at the den! He showed up Sunday at dinner time. I was beside myself. Honestly, I wasn't sure how to adequately express my joy. It was a bit overwhelming. I'm not sure how long he's staying but, as long as he's here, he is not getting out of my sight. The other night, he went out the door, and I stood by the door watching for him to come back in. After about five minutes, I changed my tactics and laid by the front door instead. He didn't come home all night. In the morning, I cried a lot. But he eventually came back.

I really love him. A lot.

What else is new...on Friday, I protected Louisa from a creepy guy who was stalking us. No one hurts the people I love.

Uh...had a nice walk with Riley over the weekend.

Was subjected to bath torture on Sunday (thus ruining yet another one of my attempts to win the Smelliest Dog in Burlington title).

That's about it - I'm going back to laying on the nice, cool floor for awhile.