Forced Confession

Apparently, it's one thing to steal food from your human's plate, or a kleenex from the garbage...or your human's car keys, blackberry...that type of thing.

It's another to steal from a store.

Uh, I am being forced to confess that I am a brazen thief.

I'm really sorry, but it's just my nature. I am a scavenger. And if you look away, I will pursue edible objects. And inedible objects.

If you take me into a pet store where there are all sorts of stunningly delicious smelling foods at nose level, well, what the hell do you expect??

I was thwarted at every turn tonight. While the human chatted, picked up my food rations, paid for said food rations, I tried to steal all sorts of things - roasted marrow bones, little treats in bags (so easy to open when you have canine teeth), pig's ears, bullwrinkles (know what they are?heh heh heh). But she kept popping me away from them with the leash.

Until her hands were full.

The moment I saw she was balancing her purse, a bag of canned food, a 75-pound German shepherd on a leash and a massive bag of Evo Reduced Fat dog food, I knew my chance had arrived.

I went for it, and stole a red pressed rawhide bone out of a box. She thought I was nosing around in stuffed toys. She didn't see the gift bags there with the rawhide in them.

By the time she noticed, not only was it too late, but she couldn't do a damned thing about it.

She confessed my transgression.

And I got to take my contraband rawhide with me.

She called me a 'klepto' all the way home.

We drove by Halton Regional Police headquarters, and kept our heads low.

None of the coppers saw us. Whew.

She's a good human, helping me to make my getaway.

However, I have been advised that I must apologize for my errant, criminal ways.

Uncle Lorne, I am very sorry I stole the rawhide bone.

(it really was delicious though...)