I would like to thank my human.

The other day, I lunged at a woman walking by me on the sidewalk.

Yet this morning, a man came flying toward me with a shovel, in the dark, and I barely noticed.

The human, in trying to figure out my apparent lack of common sense and inconsistency, suggested that mild retardation must be the explanation.

I can assure her, I am not, in fact, mildly retarded. And I appreciate the fact that the person she suggested it to also has faith in my mental capacity.

That being said, I can't explain my behaviour. I'm a female. Can any of us explain why we react the way we do??