Humans

I have to be honest. They confuse the hell out of me.

I've been following mine around a lot today, suddenly curious and trying to figure her out.

How, for example, does she assess other humans' health and social status without sniffing their bums?

Why doesn't she get that I do, in fact, think that the more I bark en route to the off leash park, the faster we'll get there?

Why, oh why, does she wrap her arms around me and squish me? Is that supposed to make me happy?

What is her issue with the consumption of goose poo, rabbit poo, cow manure, horse poo and other assorted poo flavours?

Why doesn't she like it when I roll in smelly things and successfully mask our scent? I'm just trying to serve our pack.

Why won't she let me hunt and kill the annoying little dogs in our neighbourhood? They'd provide a steady food supply, and it would be fun.

Why does she draw my attention to bunnies on our morning walk - but stop me from catching them?

Does she really think I like it when she makes up and sings annoyng "Boo" songs to me?

There are so many things I just don't get. I wish there were some good books out there - how to speak to your human, understanding human behaviour. Would sure help.

We met Diane and Cosmo at the park today, and Bentley wasn't with them. But two other dogs were - they're both pretty cool. One of them only cares about chasing his ball. Nothing else matters. I saw Archie for the first time since our fight today. We did alright. No rematch.