Since the computer is in the basement in our new house, and the basement is very cold, and I like to follow the human down there, and therefore must go back up the stairs, which is hard on my knees, well, we haven't been downstairs to write very often.

But life is good!

I ate an Always Infinity maxi-pad on Tuesday - pulled the box off a shelf in the bathroom and had a little feminine product buffet. So delish. The human was a bit worried about the ultra-absorbent effect on my digestive system so she watched me pretty closely. My appetite remained good and things were coming out the other end too, so I got away with it.

Since she hid the box on me yesterday, I ate some toilet paper off the roll on the wall instead.

I was right. Something WAS going on.

We moved dens.

What a totally confusing few weeks I've had.

But I'm settling into the new den. Lots of woods and nature around. I've made two friends - Riley lives next door, he's a puppy. And Oreo is a pug, she lives around the corner. After initially considering eating them, I quickly changed my mind and have decided to be friends with them instead.

There are WAY too many stairs in our new house. That's the only thing I don't like. The human is trying to come up with ways to help me manage the stairs.

Today is Daylight Savings Time. Apparently, for humans, that means an extra hour of sleep on this cold Sunday morning.

For dogs, it means absolutely nothing.

We were the only ones out walking at 4:50 this morning.

Something is definitely going down at the den.

Boxes everywhere.

Friends coming over to help the human move said boxes around.

Lots of "comforting" pats on the head.

I'm not stupid.

I am fully aware that something is going on.

Think it's all going to be ok, but I'm not totally convinced.

We shall see.

Just to be safe, I'm barking at everything.

My name is Storm, and I am a bark-a-holic.

omg - my last post was in AUGUST?

I'm such a dork.

See, there's been all this craziness going on around me lately and I guess I got distracted.

I know, I know, you're asking "Storm, what's been happening??"

Let's start with the human's new job (she goes off every day to earn something called money, which, she tells me, pays for my food and toys and treats and new dog beds and dog walks with my boyfriend...). She's giving off way happier energy now, but she's also running around more and I get more evening walks with Diane and my BFF Cosmos. That's cool - the human still makes sure we get plenty of quality time together, but still, it's a change.

Then all these strange people started showing up at our den. They'd walk around it, check things out, talk with the human. WTF? It was very hard to control. Combine that with the recent appearance of boxes, into which our den belongings are slowly being inserted, and it doesn't take an intelligent German shepherd to figure out something's goin' down.

She said something about buying me a house for my birthday this year. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Whatever it is, we'll get through it together. It's not as easy to deal with now that I'm older though. Sometimes I wish I was a less intelligent and intuitive breed so I wouldn't pick up on these things.

On the bright side, fall is here and the weather is finally good for a girl with a thick fur coat. I'm happy - the first morning we woke up and it was cool, I started doing play bows at 5:00 am I was so happy!

K, off to bed, promise I'll try to write more. Life is good - a bit chaotic, but hey, I've got food, comfy beds, a hot boyfriend and a roof over my head.

This evening, I scared a calf and caused a minor goat stampede.

I am fulfilled.

I turned ten on August 9th!

It was a good birthday, starting with raw, delicious stewing beef mixed into my breakfast kibble. I had a great walk with my pack, and at dinner time, Diane and Cosmos showed up. We went for a walk and hung out for awhile.

I was a bit freaked out when Cosmos started sniffing the pork-hide bone my human got for me a few weeks ago. She handed it to me a few weeks ago and was all excited; I really couldn't have cared less about the thing and made that abundantly clear.

However, once Cosmos expressed interest in it, I had to consume it. And that's what I did - just sat there being rude, not visiting at all, eating my pork-hide bone. The human came home from her first day at a new job and I didn't even get up to greet her; just ate my bone. Oh, I looked up, but that's all I could afford to do.

Aunt Diane ratted me out, told the human I'd been desperately eating the thing since Cosmos noticed it and hadn't been doing anything else, and damned if the human didn't stride over, remove the bone from between my greedy paws and tell me I was being a bad hostess.

Hostess?

Wtf is that?

I'm a dog, for god sake - someone was threatening my secret food stash - I HAD to eat it immediately.

Anyway, I forgot out my irritation when the doorbell rang and my boyfriend Riley showed up.

*sigh*

Cosmos, Riley and I did some sniffing together for awhile and hung out before the human came out of the kitchen with some amazing pumpkin-kibble cupcake things with natural peanut butter icing. I had to endure the stupid candle thing again this year, but it was so worth it. We each got a cupcake and chowed down. My god, they were delicious.

Ohhhhh and Diane brought me some dried up bull penises as a present!

My stomach was truly happy at the conclusion of my tenth birthday.

I'm really having trouble with my back and hips lately.

Tonight I struggled again to go up the stairs to bed.

The human and the vet are trying to make it feel better for me, but right now, man, it hurts.

I like to give welcome gifts when people come to the den. I wiggle around the house, searching for just the right gift to bestow upon them. It's a critical part of the welcome ritual for me.

Sometimes it's one of my stuffed animals, other times it's a shoe, boot, flip flop, slipper. Once I gave my dog walker one of my human's bras. Another time, I rooted out a fresh loaf of bread from the shopping bags and carried to to my human to welcome her home.

The other day, when Wayne, my dog walker arrived, I felt I wanted to give him something new and different instead of his usual welcome gift (my kong).

I looked around, and my gaze landed on a box sitting by the basement stairs, waiting to go down.

It was filled with things wrapped in newspaper. I chose one of the items, pulled it out of the box, removed it from its newspaper wrapping and delivered it to Wayne.

He seemed to like the cannister lid.

Who wouldn't?

My human appeared to be somewhat confused by the newspaper carelessly laying on the living room carpet and the lid sitting on the kitchen counter - but it didn't take her long to put two and two together.

She called me a "goof".

??

In the end, I decided to bite his head off.

Best way to kill a vampire.

Unfortunately for me, the human intervened and Edward survived, with only a slightly mangled ear.

Great.

So, if I look like some werewolf from a stupid vampire movie, according to that guy the other night, I thought to myself, what duties and responsibilities come with that?

Did some research and was happy to learn that as a werewolf, I am capable of killing vampires.

Who knew?

Convenient, since I am really, truly sick of listening to the human go on and on about some fictional sparkly vampire named Edward.

I located this plastic version of the Sparkly One, and decided to test my werewolf skills. Edward received a thorough sniffing, and I considered chewing off his right hand...

Lusting after ducks and cursing the leash

It's way too hot. Today, with the humidex it's 37C. The human and I are both getting bored because we can't hike or go for long walks, we're not sleeping all that well, and it's just a drag all round.

Tomorrow we head to Kincardine and, I hear, for some swims in cold Lake Huron. Thank god - although I'll be forcibly bathed after the swims, I think it will be worth it.

Meanwhile, I'll keep dreaming of fall.

The other day while the human and I were walking along a trail on the lakeshore, a couple came up from behind, and the man said to the woman:

"Hey, look, it's Jacob!"

I am now being referred to as characters from Twilight.

Not so sure how I feel about that - the whole thing is pretty silly; however, if I have to be referred to as someone from that drabble, I suppose I'm happy it was a vampire killing giant wolf.

My human, who is freakishly in love with a fictional vampire from the movie and who abandoned me not once, but twice, over the past four days to sit in a movie theatre and gaze at the sparkly undead guy, was thrilled by the Jacob comparison.

But was quick to point out that Jacob, is in fact, a rust coloured wolf.

I would be Sam.

The black pack leader.

I like that better. Pack leader of a group of giant vampire killing wolves?

Works for me.

Bring on the Twilight comparisons.

It'll add to the "Harry Potter dog!" calls I often get. Haven't figured out what that one means yet.

There's nothing like a good ole' "38 with the humidex" Southern Ontario day to make me feel lazy and old.

We're laying low today, partly because I overdid it this week on my off leash pack hikes and so my back and hips are sore, and partly because it's like the inside of a volcano out there. I was forced to have a big grass roll and rest a few times on our last walk.

Heard a rumour I may be allowed to swim in the lake on the next stroll.

I like that rumour.

Also heard it may be followed by a bath.

DISLIKE.

I'm a yogi

That's right, I was at the human's yoga studio last night.

Must have been the calm energy there, cause I didn't bark or get bitchy with a single person.

In fact, people kept walking over and giving me delicious treats!

I love this yoga place.

I wish to advise that I take offense to the question:

"Do you have a dangler, BooBoo?"

Seriously.

Ok, so, I like to eat a lot of grass in spring.

It's green and fresh and it's deeeelish.

And, yes, sometimes, it is a wee bit difficult to get out, if you know what I mean.

Occasionally, I walk away before I've, uh, totally completed the job.

I do, in fact, appreciate the help in those situations.

But does it have to come with a lifting of my tail while she says "have you got a dangler?" - in public? Really?

Jeez.

Riley

Holy crap, Riley, my true, handsome love, has been coming on my dog walks with Wayne this week. Such happiness and joy.

Puddles

I know I've written about puddles before, but after last night, I felt it was worth writing about them again.

Because I love them so very much.

We went to Bronte last night. A nice spring evening, around 11 degrees. The sun was setting and a full moon was rising. We wandered through an area of the woods that rates high on my spring puddle rating scale:

1 - no spring puddles
2 - one or two spring puddles in walking territory
3 - there's a puddle every five minutes or so, and about half are good for rolling in
4 - puddles every few minutes, 75% waddle/roll/sink into quality
5 - omfg, puddles EVERYWHERE, huge puddles, ones you can run in AND puddles you can swim in

The woods we walked in rate a 4. Generally a 3, but the existence of a spring pond at the exit point bumps them up one point. This pond rocks. Swam in it last night - pure happiness.

For me, well, it's just not enough to get my paws wet or drink out of puddles.

I need to be the puddle, be one with the puddle, you know?

I hear we may be heading to a 5-star spring puddle park on Friday.

OMG.

Busy, busy, busy

I've been so busy, no time to write.

Spring has come early to my territory, and, with it there is much to do.

Spring grass to find and eat.

Puddles to play in.

Small ponds to swim in.

Squirrels and birds to chase.

Running to be done.

It really is overwhelming. Each night I'm exhausted.

The down side of spring in my territory is that the local geese almost all go away to lay and brood their eggs. They don't return until the eggs have hatched - which means a downturn in goose poo availability.

Regardless, life is good, I feel great and spring has arrived.

More crunchy goodness

I ate a rodent skull yesterday.

Dug it out of the grass.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Crunchy skull goodness.

Owl pellets have a satisfying crunch when you chew them.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I chewed a few today.

Good Day Checklist

Digging for voles

• Early am walk, sniff and poo
• Eat goose crap
• Fill belly with delicious breakfast
• Nap
• Lick peanut butter from human's plate
• Complete dishwasher pre-wash with tongue
• Roll treaty ball around while human goes out
• Nap in wingback chair
  
• Greet human (apologize for napping in wingback chair after getting caught)
  
• Go for car ride, bark at dogs on sidewalk
• Bronte park - hunt voles, eat vole nests, chase red tailed hawks, sniff everything, pee on everything, eat owl pellets and mystery poo
  
• Nap
• Bark in backyard to assert presence
• Fill belly with delicious dinner
• Whine until human takes me out
• Car ride, bark at dogs on sidewalk
• Bronte park, vole hunting, sniff chickens, peacocks, bunnies and pigs at Children's Farm, fantasize about eating them
• Car ride, nap en route
• Home, evening treaty ball roll
• Pre-bed chew on bacon nyla bone
• zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Checklist complete.

Dog unconscious.

Post-hike bliss

My boyfriend came hiking with me yesterday!

It's a first - he's never come hiking with me! For some reason, he seemed reluctant to allow me back into the car at the end of our hike. I can't imagine why - it's not as if I was so excited I barked like a freak all the way to the park.

Damn, I was cute

I came upon a stick during our walk last night. Gave it a brief sniff and walked away.

Sticks.

There are sticks you just look at and walk by.

There are sticks you are drawn to but, once you get to know them, you aren't interested.

There are sticks that are only good for a momentary chew. After you're finished with them, you walk away.

And there are sticks you want to get to know better and, no matter how awkward or unsuitable they may be, bring home to meet your family.

Like this one.

I loved this stick.

We had a great walk at Bronte yesterday. The mouse hunting was superb, although I didn't actually catch any. The chase was good fun. Best place to find them is in the lumpy dried grasses in the fields. In the photo, I had just completed an unsuccessful hunt. True, I didn't come away from it with any food for the pack, but I had a fine time trying - wagging my tail, pouncing and doing my best to catch one.

Reflections of spring

What? Squirrel? Where?

So sick last night.

I don't know what I ate, but it was bad. I woke the human up the first time just after 10:30, and we spent the entire night in a seemingly endless cycle of me waking her up, heading downstairs, going out, going to the bathroom, coming in, going back to bed, then me waking her up...etc etc...until she finally gave up at 4:02 am and realized there was going to be no sleep this night. She let me out then grabbed a blanket and sat on the couch.

On the bright side - every time I went out, it was snowing!