I am clearly not an independent woman

Our friend Mike is staying with us right now. He went out about thirty minutes ago, and this is where I have been laying since he left. By the front door, waiting for him to come back.

I need to know where he is at all times. If he goes upstairs, I go upstairs. If he goes into the bathroom and closes the door, I wait on the other side of that door. When he goes out, I wait for him to return. When he sits on the loveseat, I sit on the loveseat. When he's on the couch, I try to sit on the couch (sometimes my human is in the way. Grrrrr). I sleep with him at night.

If I could attach myself to him, I'd do it.

Yes, he bothers me a lot. He teases me. He pretends to leave the house just to upset me. He touches me ALL the time - and I'm really not big on the touching thing. Even though he does his best to irritate me, I adore him.

My mom says I need to develop more independence when it comes to men, that I shouldn't follow him around and pine for him when he's gone. It's just not gonna happen.

In fact, I heard him talking about leaving to work in Winnipeg. They don't think I understand most of what they say...but, oh, they will regret that mistake. I'm going to start working on a secret room in the basement...one that no one can escape...and if he thinks he's leaving me...he's got another thing coming.