It has become clear that I have been abandoned by the man I love (ok, one of them, anyway).I've waited and waited and waited.
And he has not returned.
Now I understand, he isn't coming back.
I am not amused.
In fact, I'm rather pissed off.
Like a girl in a Carrie Underwood song, I am a dog lookin' for some payback.
Girls, when you want revenge, don't waste your time on things they don't care about.
As I looked back on the happy times we had with peanut butter - him smearing it on my nose while I frantically tried to lick it off, letting me lick peanut butter knife - the choice became clear.
I had to destroy his peanut butter.
That crummy, hydrogenated oil-filled PC peanut butter he loves so much.
First I licked it clean.
Then I chewed the living hell out of it.
It suffered - and I feel infinitely better.
As Carrie says (modified slightly), 'Maybe next time he'll think before he leaves...'
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